Running away from me

Kevcoy

I had an appointment with my eye doctor and took my DH with me because I couldn’t find anyone to stay with him while I was gone. We checked in and had a seat in the waiting area. After about ten minutes he got up and started heading toward the restroom. I got up to make sure he went into the right one. I tried to take his hand and he pulled away and gave me the evil eye and told me to go away. I walked him back to the waiting area but he wouldn’t sit down and just stood in the middle of the room glaring at me. After a few minutes he started heading down a hallway with some private offices. Once again I tried to turn him around only to be yelled at and to don’t touch him. He saw the automatic door open and dashed outside. I went up to the receptionist to tell her I’d have to call to reschedule and she was very kind and said that wouldn’t be a problem. I caught up with him and told him we could go home now but I’d need him to get into the vehicle, which he refused and just kept getting further away. He grabbed onto a light pole and was yelling for help. I called his brother to see if he could talk him down and get him to come with me but that didn’t work. His brother said he’d leave his work and come help me. In the meantime he would dash into the drive lane of the parking lot yelling for help and heading for a busy street. His brother showed up just before he got to the street and was able to get him into his car to take him home. Once home he calmed right down and was very sweet to me.

My question is, what if I didn’t have his brother to help? Should I have called the police? Paramedics? What could they have done? I shudder to think what would have happened if he went into the busy street. Thanks for letting me rant my heart is in the toilet.

M1

ugh so sorry and so frustrating. Good example of why we caregivers ignore our own needs. I don’t know what you do to avoid a repeat except not take him with you.

jsps139_

I think 911 would have been your only option had your brother-in-law not been available. I think the police probably have experience with dealing with out of control people with Alzheimer’s. ???!

Caro_Lynne

Something similar happened to me with my LO. I didn't call the police but an employee at the store he ran into did. LO wanted nothing to do with me and when cops arrived he was telling them he didn't want to go with me. I had called my son to come help me and he was able to calm him down. The cops understood what was going on. After a while LO said to me he's ready to go home. Had no clue what happened.

This and other incidents of him wandering away from me occurred prior to getting him to geriatric psychiatrist. Through trial and error, geri-psych was able to prescribe meds that have curbed this behavior.

In answer to your question, yes, call the police.

M1 is correct, we ignore our own needs. I too need to go to eye doctor and have been putting it off. Finally made an appointment and will be taking my LO with me - yikes, wish me luck xo

Dio

So sorry to hear. It's what I call the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde syndrome. It drove me to the brink of insanity. Hugs.

Jeanne C.

When something similar happened with my husband I called the local police (non-emergency number) and explained the situation. They sent a car who caught up to him and calmly got him home where I met them.

CindyBum

I'm so sorry this happened to you, but thank you for posting this. My DW is starting to wander when we go anywhere together and she's super resentful when I try to guide her in the right direction. I appreciate knowing how others have managed this. Tucking it away for when/if it happens.

Cheryl11

I feel for you on this. I think 911 would of been the best action in the moment, whether call is placed by you or office staff as you were exiting so quickly. I would imagine the police have experience with this but I'd be tempted to call police department to get information or reassurance if needed of the appropriate response and approach to your husband.

SDianeL

no solution except get someone to stay with him so you can go to your doctors appointments and run errands. Even 4 hours per week helps. It will happen again and he could get hurt or hurt you.

mrahope

Just another person who has faced the possible need to call 911 here. My DH was pretty violent and was insistent on driving. He also simply walked away down a busy street once. My DDIL called the police non-emergency number and was reassured that this is indeed an appropriate use of the service of police and other emergency responders. It helped me feel a bit more secure. YMMV