Have a plan!

charley0419

can some list,for those who have no idea, what exactly should be in “The Plan” moving forward

Jeanne C.

Can you be a little more specific? What kind of plan? To get a diagnosis? To get financials in order? Figure out care for now and the future?

Overall, that is the plan. Get medical care for your loved one, get all your legal and financial ducks in a row, figure out what you need for caregiving now. Try to plan for future caregiving (which will depend on your financial plan). Every person with dementia is different and you need to be a little flexible because things change. Let us know where you need some advice Charley. I know you're worried about your wife but you're already getting educated for the future and that's awesome.

FredW

Charley0419, two exceptional good posts may help you with 'the plan'. Bill has done a good job of capturing what you need to plan for.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67580/helpful-suggestions-eight-years-in-part-1

and

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67581/helpful-suggestions-eight-years-in-part-2

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70474/have-a-plan

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70474/have-a-plan

Hi Charley, Bill's list is amazingly on point. I would add to the list to prepare for the ups and downs of grief, depression and just plain mental and emotional struggles. Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, counseling and medication. Even when you think you are in a better place, these feelings/thoughts, will come back and hit you like a ton of bricks. I believe this is normal so don't be surprised. These feelings will cause you to examine your feelings, beliefs etc. and lead you to a stronger you. Some days will be ok, and other day, you will think you can't do it anymore. Keep in mind that tomorrow will come and don't give up hope. Maybe start a journal of your feelings/struggles. It helps me to sort out my thinking.

M5M

Sone things I have thought of since I have (finally ) gotten the medical, legal, financial sorted out….sort of

Plan 2.0…

Don't fret that people, children and relatives in general don't come and help….take the mindset that they don't know what to do, so they do nothing….. I think that is often the problem……. Rather, think of their skill sets: daughter is a good cook? Ask her to make a weekly meal and deliver it. Golf buddy does his own yard? Ask him to mow, weed, plant…whatever that suits talents. Friend who takes great care of their own car? Ask them to take yours for inspection/oil change, brakes, etc….most of these are things you only ask once in a while, but it helps over the long term.

Install safety treads in the shower. Grab Bars if you don't have them. A shower if you don't have and can afford.

Buy a simplified TV remote to use when they get confused. I ordered one by SIMPL, www.smpltec.com…..you get 5 or 6 channels, bigger buttons, fewer choices. $35 or $40.

If your LO has vision problems, consider identifying microwave buttons with velcro, they can feel the scratchy part and push the button.

A bidet! I was the one who was interested, DH was pretty skeptical…..till he used it several times. Now, he says, "I think I'm going to bidet."….and likes it. Actually, since DH has macular degeneration, he can't see well enough to push the correct button……so he goes to bathroom, I busy myself nearby till he is done and I push the remote button. People have suggested to install before your LO progresses too far, as they won't understand how to use if its too late. Mine is an Alpha Bidet iX Pure from BidetKing.com. I wanted heated water because otherwise it would be very cold in winter, so I paid to have an electrician install a plug. Mine costs about $250 plus the electric work, but there are many versions that cost both more and many that cost less.

Install a locked door or cabinet…I had a lock put on a closet so I could store financial information, jewelry, etc away from in home help. Remember where you put the key! I have put jewelry in there and keep it locked so now I have trained myself to remember to use the locked closet and where the key is. DH is not even aware it exists.

Find a housekeeper to clean for you, mine comes twice a month, and it is a treat to have a clean house. Even more importantly, don't overlook this person as a potential caregiver. Our housekeeper has been with us for years, loves us like family, and I believe will be with us till we are both gone. I am about to increase her to another day or two a month. DH is content to be with her if I leave, she is trustworthy, and a true jewel. I believe I will offer(pay for) her some caregiving classes from our local junior college or Alz Assoc if she is interested. …I think she will be.

Hopefully others will add their own extras to consider, once the initial important items are settled, these are suggestions.

charley0419

Everyone you tips have been very very insightful and I thank you. T