No conversation

JC5

Is this part of this awful disease? It’s been 3 days and very little if any conversations occur between us. DH , with VD, will most times respond to questions but to have a conversation is non existent! I’m beginning to feel I’m living alone. He wanted to work on a puzzle so I bought one, encourage him to work on it with me and he has no interest. He sits all day watching TV. Insists on going to store with me to get out, sits in the car and doesn’t talk! What is going on?

Quilting brings calm

Yes, it is. Mom can’t carry on a conversation unless you count a conversation like this:

She gets halfway through a sentence and I have to prompt her to finish it. Or try to figure out what the topic was going to be about. Or she gets the sentence out, I respond. And that loops for a while. There’s lot of silence because I find it exhausting to carry on that type of conversation.

Caro_Lynne

Same here JC, I haven't had an understandable conversation with my LO in months. He speaks in a whisper and is not able to complete a thought or sentence. I just guess at what he's trying to say/ask and respond with an OK, or later, or whatever I think is an appropriate answer.

We were both avid tennis fans and players. It's sad watching the US Open with him and he has no clue who any of the players are and can no longer understand the game. He has progressed quickly these past few months; he also had VD.

QBC, like with you, there's lots of silence here for the same reasons unless he's talking to the treadmill, the TV, piano, etc. And so, we carry on . . . .

terei

What is going on is the progression of his disease. Apathy + all the things you mention are very common and non communication is something many caregivers have to deal with. There is no strategy that I have heard of that helps.

Iris L.

PWDs cannot communicate or function in the way they used to.

Iris

fmb

DH rarely responds to anything I say and cannot initiate conversation. On the rare times he tries to say something, he rarely gets beyond the first 2 or 3 words. If asked a direct question, it's just 'yes' or 'no' with no logic to the answer. It's the progression of the disease and one of the reasons why dementia is so cruel to loved ones. I talk to myself a lot. Apathy was a problem in Stages 5 & 6, also part of the disease progression.

Laurie1282

I definitely feel for you! My HWD has pretty severe aphasia, both expressive and receptive. We basically have no conversation anymore and that is one of the hardest things for me in this disease journey. So lonely! He used to be a high school guidance counselor and was such a good conversationalist. I do lots of showing, acting out things and nodding with non-committal responses, hoping they make a little sense to him.

JJ401

We are just back from going out to dinner. (Thankfully we can still do that.) The conversation in the car consisted of him telling me the traffic was clear when I had to turn (not always accurate). After deciding on an entre, we ate silently. To an observer we must look like a couple who just had a fight. I miss our conversations.

M1

Oh me too. The loss of language is huge. I feel very fortunate however that there is still affection, touch, smiles, even laughter. Music helps. But nothing she says makes any sense beyond I love you. The affection has gotten more pronounced, not less, with disease progression. I did not expect that. But it helps.

Jgirl57

yes JC5, we completely understand . I do not initiate conversation because it usually goes sideways and I very rarely ask questions that will automatically illicit a “ no” response . If he begins chattering I just throw in “ uh huh “ from time to time . It is very sad.

elainechem

Yes, sadly, it is. My hubby was sick with EOAD for 8 1/2. He wasn't able to engage in real conversation for the last 7 1/2 years. It gets very lonely when you can't talk to your best friend anymore, especially when he still lives with you.

annie51

I get so starved for conversation that when I’m with other people I become a chatterbox - then DH tells me I talk too much! My DH still talks, but it’s not usually anything meaningful or understandable. We used to walk along the beach and have long discussions about plans and dreams. I’m lucky to have those memories but I sure do miss them now.

Crkddy

Of the many difficult parts of this journey, the loss of conversation is certainly one of the worst. My DW has been non-verbal for almost 3 years now. Every once in a while she will surprise me by stringing a few words together, but mostly it is just gibberish. Last night I got a wonderful surprise…….she was talking her normal gibberish, but then said something that took by breath away: "I've been waiting to see you". She then went back to her gibberish. So astonishing and wonderful to hear those words.

JC5

You all are amazing! Thank you for your encouragement, truthfulness ,and kind words.

Leesee

My DH with VD & ALZ has lacunar infarcts on the left frontal lobe. The Neurologist said to remember Left = Language. DH's inability to speak fluidly is due to vascular damage located in this area.

Your DH with VD may have experienced further vascular damage in his left frontal lobe.

Carmen M

I am suffering from the nonverbal communications also. My LO barely talks and when I ask him a question, the response would be "I don't know" …not even a yes or no answer. I talk to the room in hopes of him responding to something I say but he just looks at me with this blind look. I am so sad and also I feel like I am living alone. Thank you all for the posts to reaffirm that this is the normal progression. I needed to hear that to keep my sanity. Also, I find that when I ask him to perform a task like getting up from the recliner and into the wheelchair to go to the bathroom, He just looks at me and it might take 20 minutes. I feels like he is processing the request and it is now taking longer to process information. I feel like crying everyday.