Bedtime Routine for TV-Lover with MCI

SandhillCranes

Hello! I am new to the group. Very grateful to find this resource.
My 80-year-old mom was diagnosed with MCI almost a year ago. Biggest issue right now is trying to get her to bed at a good time at night. She is gradually staying up later and later to watch TV and then sleeping later in the morning, groggy all day, doing less, etc. She is used to managing her own nighttime meds (including Trazodone) and lately has been taking them as late as 11 or 11:30PM.
I have her enrolled in several daytime classes in hobbies that she enjoys. She likes going to the classes but I am worried she'll start missing these activities if she keeps staying up later and sleeping later.
Her GP has suggested giving her her nighttime meds at 8PM, TV off by 9, in bed by 10. This has resulted in major nightly arguments between my mom and myself.
Any suggestions? Has anyone had any success helping a loved one get to bed earlier so they can have higher quality of life during the day? Her GP said at some point I may just have to give up and let her sleep her days away, if that is really what she wants...
Thank you so much for any advice!

M1

Welcome to the forum. At some point you do have to take charge of the medications, and it sounds like the time is now. I take it your mother lives with you? My taking over her medications was a huge battle with my partner, but i was ultimately able to win that battle because I'm a doc and it was my bailiwick. Not everyone can pull that off though.

Two thoughts: you could even give her the trazodone with dinner. She might not even recognize it if you take charge of the bottles, just tell her it's a new vitamin the doc wants her to take.

The other thought is that sleep fragmentation and change in sleep patterns is pretty common with dementia, and there may be other drugs that work better than trazodone. My partner was put on the atypical antipsychotic Seroquel for this reason several years ago and it has worked like a charm; trazodone gave her both constipation and dry mouth.I'm. You need to know that the atypical antipsychotics carry a black box warning for vascular events in the elderly, but the overall risk is pretty low and they are widely used in dementia. You might discuss this with her doc, and again- the introduction of a new drug would give you an opportunity to give it to her in the early evening without having to tell her what it's for.

As for sleeping her days away, yes it may come to that. Apathy and loss of executive function are also common, and you don't have to try to constantly keep her engaged, that's going to be a losing battle in the long run. Hard to be the cruise director and the caregiver at the same time.

H1235

Maybe there is a more tec savvy person here that can help, but I wonder if there is some way to put her tv on some kind of timer so that it just shuts off after a certain time. She might get grumpy and want to call someone to get it fixed, but maybe eventually she would get used to the new schedule. Rather than the argument being about the tv/bedtime would you have better luck making it about the medication? ( I assume one is to help her sleep). Blame it on the doctor. He said you need to take it at 8:00 so that is what needs to happen. I’m sure that is going to be difficult too. Nothing about this is easy. I hope you can figure something out.

M1

It might be worth seeing if the parental control functions include a timer. Never looked....

Iris L.

I am having the same problem myself. I don't watch TV but I do watch YT videos and I read and respond to these message board posts. Both activities keep my mind stimulated until late at night. I am working on doing both earlier in the day.

As for your mom, is she getting any exercise during the day? Is she exposed to daylight? Both are important.

Iris

dementiadoc

Don’t forget to give yourselves and your loved ones a GRACE TIMEOUT to stop the verbal tennis matches. My mom is 80 and has vascular dementia (early stage) I’m 61 but she thinks I’m still her little boy. I cope by pretending that I’m her and how wound I want someone to treat me if I had dementia. Finally, remember neither you or your loved one SIGNED up for DEMENTIA you’ve been thrust into a very difficult position. In life we will all be tested, it’s not the MAGNITUDE of the test it’s the MAGNITUDE of your faith that usually determines your outcome.

SandhillCranes

Thank you all so much! I really appreciate your replies. You've given me some good ideas.

harshedbuzz

@H1235 That's an interesting idea. My cable box allows me to block channels, but not put the device to sleep as I can with my WiFi or individual devices. But a surge protector with an on/off switch would work as would an old school timer like people put in their lights when they go on vacation.

HB

rwsel1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70512/bedtime-routine-for-tv-lover-with-mci

My DW has a similar thing about not going to bed. The Doc prescribed Quetiapine Fumarate with instructions to give to her at bed time because it would make her drowsy. The first night she was still up and awake at 3AM. I coaxed her into bed. I contacted the Doc and he said give it to her earlier which I did but she still is up late. Our usual bedtime routine is to watch the 11PM news and then I get set to go to bed she gets ready then goes out again citing she has many things to do. This is usually rearrange things on the table several times.

I now go to bed around 11:45 or so and usually, but not always, awake about 2AM. I go into the living room and find her asleep most times and take her to bed by which time the drugs have taken effect. Sometimes its later. She then sleeps until about noon. She naps in the late afternoon, but then so do I. It seems to work but like most things associated with this insidious disease what works for one doesn't necessarily work for all. It's all a matter of trial and error. Good luck

JDancer

We had a TV with a sleep timer on the remote. I joked (pre dementia) that it saved our marriage. My husband would constantly fall asleep with the TV on, but suddenly awake when I turned it off.

I know it goes against all rules of sleep hygiene, but is there a TV in the bedroom? Might help her fall asleep while watching.

dementiadoc

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/221603#Comment_221603

My mom 80 has VD & mother in love 83 has Alzheimer’s, both early stage. Both never turn the TV off, they say it keeps them company and prevents their minds from wandering thru the night in the web of their dementia. People w/o dementia need quiet time to recharge our mental battery to prepare for the next day. As we all know due to their MCI they don’t have a normal sleep pattern. We have to learn how to meet our loved ones where they are. Reset our expectations, LEARN how to LOVE and ENJOY the person we see and MOVE on from who they use to be. I’m learning how to RESIST the natural TEMPTATION to FIX something that appears to be broken.

HollyBerry

Our cats and dogs have totally flipped our morning and bedtime routines, for the better. They get us up early and beg for their bedtime snacks until we give in, usually around 9pm. Can you manipulate something external to cue for bedtime? I love the idea of the tv shutting off automatically - blame the cable company or something beyond your control. There was another post from someone who is helping their LO stay awake during the day with lots of caffiene in the morning then something else to help them fall asleep in the evening. I swear my mother's AL did some of these things!

Lucy C

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/221603#Comment_221603

It's actually not that hard to do. Move a fairly heavy piece of furniture in front of an electrical outlet (to keep the outlet from being accessed). Run the TV cord under or behind the furniture; and at the outlet plate, plug it into one of those plug-in timers you can get at the hardware store. They're used for turning plant lights on and off, etc. Home Depot has them, so does Amazon, etc…