Father Refusing Help

plwilliam

Our 80 YO father was in an auto accident requiring around the clock care, and refusing home healthcare or rehab centers. He also has been victim to a financial scam recently and is making poor decisions and is paranoid and verbally abusive. What can we do if he refuses outside professional help and a mental fitness, neurological examination so we can potentially obtain guardianship to help him with his physical and psychological problems?

Quilting brings calm

If you go to court for guardianship, and he objects, I’m sure the court would order those exams. Contact a lawyer

M1

Welcome to the forum. Yes you need a certified elder law attorney to help you file for emergency guardianship. Look at nelf.org for lists by location. In the interim, disconnect his internet, hide the credit cards and tell him they must be lost, turn off the ringers on his phone so he won't know the scammers are calling, and disable the car.

H1235

Welcome!I would see a certified elder law attorney. I believe that as part of the process he will be required to submit to an evaluation. If he refuses?? That is a good question for the lawyer. Was he in the hospital after the accident? Not sure why they would release him to go home without a care plan. Adult protective services is another option. Again a lawyer is probably the best judge which route is better/faster. This is probably not good advice without the DPOA, but I still think I would get nosy with his finances so you can see where things stand. Do what you can to protect him. Can you take the credit card away that kind of thing. If he is driving I would not hesitate to disable the car. If he has dementia you will not be able to reason with him. An inability to see their own symptoms and limitations is very common. It’s called anosognosia. The anger and paranoia are also very common. So don’t ask or try to convince him, it’s just going to make things worse!!! Don’t tell him you are there to help(because in his mind he doesn’t need any and it’s just going to make him mad). Tell him you stopped by to say hi. In home aids mights be approached in a similar way. Think of a story he might be ok with. Would he accept that care givers are there to clean, maybe that they are a friend of yours and they need volunteer hours. It’s hard without knowing him. Other will give you better ideas. The point is to find work arounds he will buy into. I know this may be easier said than done. I have found this site and the wonderful and experienced people here to be a great source for advice. You have a lot to deal with and figure out. Good luck.