DH was placed in a Geri-Psych program yesterday

Palmetto Peg

What a sad day! My DH was admitted to the hospital yesterday for much-needed medication management. He has been more and more out of control lately and the final straw was when he threated to hit another resident here who was just walking by. My choices were to have him placed in a more expensive Memory Care not a part of our facility, keep both of us in our apartment indefinitely because he wasn't allowed out and I was allowed to leave him, move out of our residence and our contract would be terminated, or place him in a program. I have wanted the program for quite some time now, but was left to find one on my own and didn't have much success. It wasn't until "management" realized they would have to refund the upfront money we gave them that they suddenly decided to help me find a program. So, he is there now and the plan is that if they can get his aggression under control he will leave the hospital and be admitted to the memory care program here in our Continuing Care Retirement Community. No promises, but I do hope he can stay in our community, or I will have to leave as well.

Friday night we had our last night together as a married couple sleeping in the same bed. It was very sad, and I know it will take me some time to fully process that he will never come back to our apartment and I will never again be a part of a couple. I haven't really been in that situation for a long time now, but it is going to be hard to get used to having no one else in the apartment with me.

He had a very rough first night, as I expected he would, and I am sure it will take a lot of time for him to settle down. I don't know if he will ever be free of his aggressiveness as it always was just part of his nature. For now, I am getting some much needed rest and being kind to myself. I hate dementia!!!!!

midge333

I am sorry you and your DH are going thru this. I hope he finds the help he needs and can return to the MC in your facility. Get some rest!

M1

Peg it was a very necessary step, though believe me I know exactly how painful. Her last night on our farm is imprinted in my brain and heart forever (unless dementia robs me of that some day).

I'm glad he's where he'll hopefully get the help he needs. I hope the doctors communicate well with you and will be looking forward to hearing your updates. Sending much empathy and support. Sleep and rest and cry.

FTDCaregiver1

Hello PP - I feel your sadness and pain. I remember the first time having to enter my DW into psychiatric care for observation and medication adjustment for the first time. As I walked out of the ward, the door slamming behind me, my wife banging on the door looking at me walk away screaming for me not to go. Traumatic experience you must be going through. Get some rest, take care of yourself and, with good care and psychiatric help, things will get brighter for you. Godspeed.

Dio

I feel your pain. Hope this will pass soon. Just know that each hurdle will pass.

SDianeL

so sorry. Praying they will find the proper meds to help him and he can settle into memory care. Remember you are providing the best care for him. Hugs.

Palmetto Peg

Thank you all for your support. This is hard, but I think it was harder when he was still with me. He was so unpredictable and volatile. I just never knew what was going to happen next. He is very unhappy there right now, but I know he is safe and so am I. We do get through these things one day at a time, don't we. It seems silly to miss someone who caused me so much anguish, but the house is so quiet!