Power of Attorney

RetaMeta55

I am my DH POA. We have a joint account at our bank. He is newly diagnosed for Alzheimer's a few months ago. He and I both have a debit card. He is still driving, and goes to Walmart frequently sometimes 2-3 times a day buying over the counter medications for cough sinus bandages, tools, etc. whatever he thinks he needs. He has tendencies with OCD collecting this and that which builds up over time.

How can I delicately go to the bank, show them my POA and then shut down his debit card? He has anger issues along with delusions thinking i have had multiple affairs. He resents me because of these delusions. To take away his debit card from him will definitely light his fuse. How can I do this delicately?

M1

Welcome to the forum. I had similar issues with shopping repeatedly for pet food. There was nothing short of getting the cards out of her possession, she didn’t have the wherewithal to call for a new one, and when it came I confiscated it and told her it hadn’t come yet. So- you take it away and feign ignorance.
you almost certainly need to address the driving also. These are hard issues, but safety is paramount. You should contact the DMV in your state and/or have him undergo a formal driving assessment.

midge333

You could also close the joint bank account and reopen one in your name only.

elainechem

I agree with what the others said. Perhaps you can get him a prepaid debit or credit card. When he reaches the limit, it won't work anymore.

I had to use the POA to close our joint bank account. I already had an account which was only in my name. You need to take charge of the money ASAP before you're in serious debt. There are many stories of people with dementia falling prey to scams - online, by mail or phone.

jsps139_

Years ago I removed my DH’s debit card and credit card from his wallet. Every day when he asked about them, I told him they expired and new ones were on the way. He eventually stopped asking, and doesn’t even know they are missing from his wallet.

FAHNJL

I shut off DW’s debit card through our banking app. I told her that somebody tried to use our information, so it wouldn’t work anymore and they would send her a new card. I always make sure she has cash, so she feels somewhat independent. You just gotta lie. It sucks.