When is memory care needed

meghanchase

My dad has EO, he is turning 65 next week, so super young. He lived with my husband and I for 3 yrs. And we moved him into assisted living in Jan. We are currently sitting in the hospital going on day 3 here. They are finding quite a bit going on. He is no longer swallowing properly and now needs all of his liquids thickened so he doesn't aspirate. Since he is so young I am having a hard time knowing what is a good next step. Sometimes he is so peppy and has energy and other times he is completely out of it. And advice would be great.

sandwichone123

Hi, welcome to the board. There is a lot going on right now, it sounds like. Perhaps you're finding that his current level of care is no longer adequate and he may need to go to a higher level of care. Thickened liquids are routine care, but there is little evidence that they help. If it doesn't bother him then it's probably ok anyway.

I realize that he is young (my dh is 62 and living in a care situation), but it sounds like it's time for a hospice consult. Difficulty swallowing is a late sign. Another question to ask yourself is what your goal is. While he is very young and you are also young for this responsibility, the responsibility has arrived. Is your goal to keep his body alive for as long as possible? To keep him happier in the short term even if that involves less health care or worse nutrition? One book I often recommend is Being Mortal, which talks about the time between independent living and the end of life—a period of years for many of our loved ones.

H1235

While he is in the hospital I would ask the doctors what they advise. You might also want to talk with his current AL. With his new needs will they allow him to come back? Even if they are good with him coming back do you think the staff is trained and capable of giving him the care he needs. An AL facility will probably not have the experience in helping your dad at a more advanced level of care. Sorry you are in this difficult situation.

Anonymousjpl123

@meghanchase I am so sorry you are dealing with this while your dad is so young and, so early for you. I would speak with the AL director honestly about what is going on for him, and see if they can provide what he needs. Also, I would ask to speak with a geriatric social worker at the hospital. They should have one. From my understanding, the progression with Early onset can be quicker than with older adults. Keep us posted.