Today I feel ... unstuck

AlzWife2023

I've been feeling pretty stuck—I am doing an OK job with caregiving and surviving, but the future looks bleak for me financially and I am bored, frustrated, and lonely in the present.

Rather than continue to feel so many negative emotions I started exploring possibilities for change after reading this from Maya Angelou: "And those dead folks would give anything, anything at all for just five minutes of this weather or ten minutes of that plowing that person was grumbling about. So you watch yourself about complaining, Sister. What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Don't complain."

That helped a lot and I ended up Googling lots of stuff and finding out that Medicaid pays for 35 hours of home care for people who are homebound and people with Alzheimer's who are a wandering risk are considered homebound. Please correct me if you think I've misinterpretd this. Here are my references:

From Google AI: Yes, wandering can qualify for Medicaid homebound if it meets certain requirements: 

• Level 3A person must need full assistance in at least three of the following eight areas: wandering, adaptation, awareness, danger to self or others, demands on others, judgment, memory, or orientation. 
• In-home careMedicaid will pay for in-home care if the person would need nursing home care without it. 

Medicaid can also provide assisted living waivers for people with Alzheimer's or dementia. These waivers can help people continue living in the community instead of moving to a nursing home. You can search online by state at medicaid.gov or call 1-800-633-4227 for more information on Medicaid eligibility. 

https://www.alz.org/documents/national/Medicaideligibilityissues.pdf

https://www.cms.gov/outreach-and-education/american-indian-alaska-native/aian/outreach-and-education/pdf/medicare-and-medicaid-benefits-for-people-with-dementia_909455-n.pdf

Currently, I receive an Adult Family Care stipend to care for my spouse, but, eventually, maybe soon, I will want to go back to work, give up that stipend, and find someone who can be here those 35 hours instead, to keep him safe and do the things I do now during the day. I am getting too bored and frustrated and poor staying home as a caregiver. I don't want to rely on my kids for thousands a month (as I do now and have been for more than a year; I’ve also depleted all my savings and retirement savings). I do not want to have no retirement income other than a reduced social security check due to stopping work at 50. So, I am feeling good about new options and new thinking. For a long time, I was focusing on the same old things which I felt that I could not change nor could I accept them. I feel like the curtains have parted and I can see a whole new landscape. It's weird how that happens.

I also found an organization called Well Spouse that I might join. I'll definitely be exploring the resources on their site. Here's their blurb: "Almost 6 million people in the US care for an ill or disabled partner. Chronic illness changes relationships. When spouses or partners transition to caregiver and patient roles, they often face the loss of that singular intimate relationship and the companionship it brings. Spousal caregivers spend more hours caregiving each week, doing more intense tasks, and with less outside assistance, than other types of caregivers. The financial impacts of caregiving are different for well spouses from other types of caregivers too - often the partner with illness and the caregiver must give up paid employment (at the same time that expenses increase due to medical costs). Caregiving for your wife, husband, or partner impacts the decision to have children, the way children are raised, and where and how one lives, works, and retires. There are few areas of life that are left untouched by the caregiver/patient role in partnered relationships. Well Spouse Association provides support and resources to people of all ages who care for partners with chronic illness or disability. We provide support whether you feel like a caregiver or not. We are an inclusive and welcoming community - no matter your age, partnership arrangement, sexuality, orientation, gender, or religious beliefs."

https://wellspouse.org/

Dio

Kudos to you! And thanks for posting.

Pat6177

Thanks for the Maya Angelou quote. I try to maintain an attitude of gratitude. Some days it works… And thanks for the info and link to Well Spouse Assoc. Hang in there!