Mother in law

Zoec1988

Hi, new to this. My mother in law is 85 and is fit as a fiddle sharp in mind etc up until end of summer, she’s lost a lot of weight, her personality has changed so much, she’s very stressed and anxious about things that would definitely not have affected her previously. She’s loosing interest in going out to socialise l, she has always adored playing bridge, and now doesn’t want to. She’s been with her partner for 12 years and although they have never lived together she has always gone there about 3/4 times a week now she’s short tempered and impatient with him and maybe only there once a week. It’s all been quite sudden. Could these changes point to dementia as we have had tests/scans/bloods to rule out cancer thyroid etc as the weight loss was very quick. She seems so anxious which as I said is so unlike her. I mean last year she was going away long haul flights absolutely no drama now she’s worrying about getting cash from a cash machine. Her memory doesn’t seem bad, although she does repeat the odd story nothing to major. And advice would be so welcome as I really would like to help her

SusanB-dil

hi Zoec1988 - Please have her checked for UTI. That can wreak havoc on an elderly person.

harshedbuzz

Given the sudden onset, I agree a UTI is a real possibility.

I'd start the ball with her PCP who can order more bloodwork to rule out conditions that may be treatable that can mimic dementia— hormone or vitamin deficiencies and Lyme Disease. They can also order an MRI. Given her irritability, you might want to contact the doctor ahead of time to report what you're seeing so you don't have to bring it up in front of her.

HB

H1235

Welcome! I second the check for a UTI. We tend to think at dementia as memory loss. It is so much more than that. My moms memory is fairly good, but she struggles with planning, organizing, processing things very slowly, not seeing her limitations (anosognosia) and changes in personality. If she is in independent living I would strongly recommend you start considering assisted living. Do you have legal matters taken care of (durable power of attorney)? This is important. When she sees her doctor I would also recommend letting him know what is happening with a message through a healthcare portal ( or a note before the appointment). Bringing these concerns up in front of her would probably cause her to become upset and defensive. I hope you are able to figure things out.

M1

while checking for a uti is worthwhile my bet is that this is in fact the start of dementia, all of what you are describing is pretty classic. Along with medical evaluation, make sure legal affairs are in order, someone needs durable power of attorney now before things go further south. Check her finances, that’s an early problem for many. And read about anosognosia, she is unlikely to recognize that anything is wrong. If she’s driving, she likely needs to stop.