H

Merla

H1235

My grandkids are young too. We just visit mom in AL. Mom doesn’t say mean things, but she often says things that make no sense to them ( usually mixing names up or families). I’m afraid if I explain too much to the grandkids they are going to repeat it back to her(not to be mean). Mom is very sensitive about her symptoms so if great grandkids tell her “grandma says you get really confused sometimes” this would not go over well. Your situation is much worse. I’m afraid I don’t have any good advice. Keep plugging away on DPOA and AL. Good luck.

sandwichone123

Keep your young child away from grandma as much as you possibly can. Grandma can't help it, but there is no talking it away from your child. While there is little that can be done to help Grandma, she can cause significant damage to your child, and protecting your child should be your first priority. Have you considered other places she might live to protect the safety of home for your family?

Anonymousjpl123

One thing I will say is that your sensitivity will go a long way. I don’t have kids but I was one, and I remember knowing my paternal grandfather had alzheimers. He wasn’t around a lot and I was a few years older - 3rd grade - but I just knew grandpa was “sick.” Your child may understand that. You can let her know grandma didn’t mean it, and that you are so sorry that she said the mean thing. Sounds like you are protecting your daughter as much as you can before the move and that is truly all you can do.

Anonymousjpl123

Also just thought of one more thing: I think “the 35 hour day” had a pretty good chapter on coping with the family and young children. You may want to check it out.

psg712

We had one unpleasant weekend, several years before mom's diagnosis, when I traveled with my mom and then-5-year-old son out of town to a big family gathering. Among other stressful issues that surfaced over the weekend, Mom showed a total lack of tolerance for normal 5-year-old behavior. She was surprisingly harsh with my son, which hurt and confused him and made me angry. I did not know yet that she was struggling with dementia, but that weekend was the start of my wake-up call.

The challenges of managing her increasing needs while prioritizing the growth and safety of a young child was one of several major factors in the decision for placement nearby, rather than care in our home. A tough choice, but in hindsight best for her AND his well-being ... not to mention my sanity. I wish you clarity in determining what works best for your family!