I Would Pay Money for a Little Anosognosia

CindyBum

As my DW loses her ability to speak and has started becoming more anxious and paranoid, she will say to me, "I am about to lose it all." and then she'll cry. So I cry and think of how utterly unfair it is that she knows, really knows that her brain is failing her.

I know her thinking she has nothing wrong would bring it's own level of frustration and sadness for me, but damnit, I will take some agnosognosia at this stage. She doesn't need to be "here" for every friggin' painful step downward.

Do people develop anosognosia in later stages or is it really an earlier stage phenomenon? I so want to ease her pain and there's so damn little I can do.

charley0419

I hear you , I see my wife changing alittle every week or day. At times I say maybe she’ll stay just like this , but I know better.

CindyBum

My DW was diagnosed in March…just 6 months ago! She had an MCI diagnosis in July of 2020. It feels like it is moving so damn fast. I suppose that can be a blessing on a certain level, but jeez. Some days my head feels like it is spinning from the rapid progression.

Hang in there Charley!

CampCarol

My DH is in the same place as your DW. He knows he has a ‘neurological’ disease and states almost every day that he’s losing his mind. He gets so frustrated searching for words or how to do something - I too would give anything for him to not be so aware of what’s happening and seeing himself spiraling downward. 😔

northernlady

I never realized this. I'm so sorry.

My HWD has no idea. He thinks his body is just getting old, and that's why i have to help him.

And honestly, with family members pushing me to consider placing him (he's easy going, but I do everything for him), I'd pay for a bit of Anosognosia for myself.

elainechem

I've read studies that indicate, the longer a person has dementia, the more likely they are to have anosognosia. In my experience, both my late husband and, now, my brother had anosognosia from the start.

sherryandwilliam

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70733/i-would-pay-money-for-a-little-anosognosia

At first my husband would say he had Alzheimers. Occasionally now he just says he is sick. But surprising he is taking it all pretty good quite the blessing. When he does get emotional about it sometimes I always tell him don't worry I will always be there for him and take care of him and it really keeps him calmed down and I give him a hug.

Stan2

I hear you. My DW is not as far along as yours but she knows exactly what is happening to her and she is terrified. She is facing this with more strength than I ever knew she had but all I can do to help is assure her that I will be here with her. I feel so damned useless.

Karen711

Hi Cindy- it’s good to hear the other side of the coin. My DW has anosognosia and I’ve always felt it made it more difficult. But that’s me being selfish , because it has made it impossible so far for me to get help and I’m getting worn out. I’m also sad because I’ve imagined that if she had awareness of this process going on that it would make it possible for us to “go through it together”, and that I might have a better chance of supporting her all the more. Instead, I am alone with it and she blames me for not telling her “things”. The anosognosia changes the nature of our relationship I think even more than the memory loss, loss of words, agitation, anger, depression and all the other wonky stuff that goes on around our house. But I see your point about how shattering it is to see your DW cope with and bear this nightmare.
My heart goes out to you and EVERYONE on this site!
💕 to all!

Carl46

I know how you feel. My wife said the other day that she was scared to death that she was losing her mind, and scared that she was going to die. She is primarily afraid of losing me, because she thinks with good reason that I am the only person in the world who cares about her. I am so sorry for her that it lessens my feeling sorry for myself.

ghphotog

My Dw can't form a complete sentence and as she is mumbling about things only she understands, out of the blue she'll say things like "Why do you let me live?" or "I don't belong here", "I'm not ok". It's heartbreaking and when you try to follow up on those comments they seem to be gone from her mind the instant she says them.

Bailey's Mom

I never thought of the flip side of this coin. Thank you for making me aware. My DH has anosognosia, but deep down I think he knows that he is losing his abilities day by day and is terrified by it. Sometimes I become so exhausted and frustrated that I don't think of what he must be going through.