how to have a discussion

jennkatx

My husband gets $75 every 2 weeks for groceries from rent we take in. I was helping him get groceries to last that time and he was doing good. then I stopped checking because I thought he got it, he didn't. if he didn't get meals on wheels he would be in trouble. so, I got advice to make meals ahead of time and freeze them. that's going to be interesting because I can't cook. I tried to talk to him what he likes, what we can get for dinners, we just went in circles. he told me he was eating a lot of spaghetti when I know he wasn't. how can I have a conversation with him, for example about food, or is this another thing he can't do. I want to keep him involved but not sure how

M1

you would do well to assume he can’t do any of this, or have a discussion about it. Probably can’t even reliably reheat frozen meals. This would indicate that he’s likely at a point where he isn’t capable of living independently and needs more supervision and help than he currently has.

From your posts, it doesn’t sound like you want to take on being his primary caregiver. That’s okay if it’s the case, but you need to think about who else can step in, and someone needs to hold his power of attorney or guardianship. Are there other family members who can take on that responsibility? Lots of unknowns here. I know that doesn’t answer your question; but the answer with dementia is that you can’t expect to have a discussion, period, about anything…..

Quilting brings calm

having read through your other posts, I ubderstand that you and your spouse are basically separated but living in the same house. Multiple lawyers have told you that you can’t get a POA- presumably that’s because he refuses to sign one or because he’s not considered capable. Therefore you need to pursue guardianship, but you don’t want to because that would embarrass him.

To your post- stop thinking that he’s capable of spending grocery money wisely. Take over the task. You are legally responsible for his welfare because you are still married to him. Especially since you are still living in the same house and laying part of the bills.

Move out and tell his side of the family to deal with him.