Really disheartening first experience with hospice

tigersmom

Yesterday, I asked DH’s doctor at memory care if it was time for a hospice evaluation. DH has been there less than three weeks, but those of you who have been following our story may recall that since his first hospitalization Aug. 14, he has lost, by my estimate, 20-30 pounds. He pretty much stopped eating four days into that hospital stay. He is still drinking. He is rejecting most of his meds and peeing all over the facility. The doctor said they worked with multiple agencies but the had a favorite. Fine, I said. Today someone called me from that agency. She knew nothing about my husband but that he wasn’t taking his meds and had had a fall. (He deliberately ran into a wall and bought himself another four-day hospital stay.) I explained that he has deteriorated significantly in a very short time and had lost a huge amount of weight. All she kept asking me was whether or not I was thinking of hiring him a private aide, and would he qualify for one. I have no idea, I said, since everything I’m doing here is private pay. No matter where I tried to steer the conversation, she kept coming back to the private aide. What is going on here? I am paying this facility more than $10,000.00 a month. Yesterday the director told me that because of all the urinating, they will bump up his care level and start charging me an additional $1900.00 a month. Three aides were chasing him to try to keep him from hurting himself and they were not successful. All I am trying to do is find out whether the end of my husband’s life is near, which I sense from just looking at him. I am angry enough to ask the doctor for a referral to a different agency. Am I wrong, or is this nuts?

M1

no you’re not nuts. I don’t think you need a doctors referral, you can probably call any agency you want. The intake interview with the nurse will be more important though, so don’t give up too soon. Someone needs to come evaluate him in person.

ghphotog

You should be able to choose any hospice company you want. So far I have had a good experience with my DWs hospice company. They have several patients in my wife's MC. This company has their own doctor who specializes in dementia. The hospice nurse has been very professional with my DW and they figure out the proper dosages for her meds. My mom's hospice company I would stay away from. My mom was in pain until the end. Have not been very impressed however with either chaplains.