New at this. HELP

Bob Bo

My wife has short term memory loss, higher than normal fear levels, general agitation and breaks down and cries far too often and easily. Don't know how to get into her world and probably support and help. Need advice and counsel ASAP.

SDianeL

So sorry you are going through this. First talk to her doctor and get a referral to a Geriatric Psychiatrist who is best to manage medications for depression, agitation. Sadly there isn’t much you can do except to try to figure out what triggers her behaviors. Her world is falling apart and that causes anxiety.

M1

welcome Bob. Two classes of medications are commonly used for anxiety and agitation- the Ssri antidepressants particularly Celexa and Lexapro, and the atypical antipsychotics Seroquel and risperidone. There are others too, but this is usually the place to start. Talk to her docs, some good primary care folks are comfortable prescribing these but some are not, in which case a geriatric psychiatrist is usually more helpful than a neurologist.

You have come to a good place for advice and support. Make sure your legal affairs are also in order, you want to have durable power of attorney for her for healthcare and finances.

Lkrielow99

I am sorry you are going through this disease. It is relentless and leaves the caregivers baffled on how to help. I agree with finding a Geriatric Psychiatrist to prescribe medications that will help. I agree with getting your durable power of attorney and medical POA. These are both important first steps.

My DH was either agitated or crying. When agitated I searched for all possible why’s, when he cried I held him and told him I would always be with him. He had constant fear of someone stealing his money, probably because he was scammed a lot. His declining executive functioning left him so frustrated. His world was upside down and he could no longer make sense of it. As his wife and life partner, I had to come to the realization that he is no longer a contributor to our marriage. I was going to take over all the roles. He hated seeing me crawl on the ladder or blow off the patio. He hated when he paid bills twice or purchased the same item three times. This caused more confusion and agitation. I couldn’t win for trying.

You are in the right place. What helps me is to search through the post for what I’m experiencing. I have found some helpful reassurance that what I’m going through someone else has too. I seek advice and I’ve found a lot of ideas. This is the most stressful journey I have ever had. Take deep breaths to ease the tension and look for ways to take care of yourself. This disease is going to wear you down and unless you’re in it 24/7/365 no one understands what we go through. Much love to you!

Stan2

Bob, This sounds very much like my wife's symptoms . She was diagnosed with alzheimers a couple of years ago and has been battling depression for many years. I agree with the advice above, try to see a geriatric psychiatrist.

Carl46

Psych meds have helped my wife a lot. and so did antibiotics for her urinary tract infection. You might ask her doctor about getting a urine culture.

Jo C.

Good input and Carl is correct; if it has not yet been done, please have a UTI ruled out. It can be surprising how much an elderly person's mentum can sometimes be affected from a urinary tract infection. In such an instance, once treated, all back to normal. However; it could be a different infection or something else, or of course, the changes being caused by dementia. I have personally seen such changes caused by a UTI and once treated, back to baseline function. Worth having it checked.

Always rule out the simple things so a misdiagnosis is not made with risk of the wrong meds being prescribed. Let us know how things are going,

J.