It’s a marathon, not a sprint

clarinetist

Sitting by my sleeping husband’s bedside in the ER for his fifth agitation/aggression admission since May, have been reflecting on what I’ve learned about hospitalizations.

When his memory care called me last night with the news he had had another altercation and was going to the ER, first I took a deep breath. Then I prepared my ER backpack: a book, a phone and phone charger, a sweater, and snacks for my husband and me. I didn’t do this the first time he was hospitalized and shivered in a cold room, ate vending machine candy bars, and had nothing to do after my phone ran out of charge.

After six hours of keeping my DH from tearing out his IV port, making sure he got his evening meds, and periodically walking him around the ER to reduce his agitation, I left at midnight when my DH fell asleep. After 6 hours of sleep and a good breakfast, I’m back at his bedside. During his first hospitalization I stayed with him all night and didn’t have much stamina left when he awoke in the morning.

What I’ve learned is I have to take care of myself in the hospital too so I can better advocate and care for my DH in the hospital. Just my two cents in case you find yourself in a similar situation!

harshedbuzz

@clarinetist

Wish words. Especially the bit about pacing yourself.

My mom doesn't have a dementia diagnosis, but we do the ER run a couple times a year often after being turfed there from a doctor's appointment— a fall, a UTI, breathing issues. I've learned many of the same lessons over time.

My basic go bag includes— a full day of her medications (in case we're there a while), her rescue inhaler, her OPEP, phone and iPad plus chargers. I can pull her MyChart up for the nurses on the iPad which they always appreciate. I always have a blanket and sweatshirt in my car and a copy of her POA/AD. If I suspect we're there for the duration, I bring along her bi-pap.

HB

Quilting brings calm

Add in your own medications. Money for those vending machines

And yes, take breaks. I know people say you have to be there - but you can’t help if you are exhausted. A few days of being there 14 hours a day is dangerous for your own health.

Jazzma

All that and a water bottle. It's hard to stay hydrated in that situation and it really does help.

fmb

As DH had 6 hospitalizations in 4-1/2 months, I learned to keep the go bag packed at all times. In addition to everything recommended above, I included toothpaste, a toothbrush and a hairbrush so I could freshen up a little. I also packed my own lunch. The hospital's cafeteria food was rather unhealthy and very expensive.

Copies (NOT the originals) of his DPOA, HCPOA and POLST, also on my phone. His driver's license or state ID for identification at check in. All necessary insurance/medicare cards, even if he's been there before.

Bring something on which to take notes and write down questions because you never know when a doctor might pop in to the room and you want to be prepared.

Take breaks to walk around and get the blood moving again. I usually located a chapel/quiet room at each hospital/rehab where I could go to de-stress a little and clear my mind.

clarinetist

I love all these additions. Will be updating my backpack.

frankay

Also have an extra shirt to change into after they yank out their IV and blood gets everywhere. Happened to me twice while DH was hospitalized and I was trying to calm him down before the nurses could get to us.

clarinetist

Good idea. I just spent the day in the ER trying to keep my DH from pulling out his IV, his heart monitors, his blood pressure cuff, and his oxygen monitor, all while he was swearing at me. And they wouldn’t let him get off the gurney. He hated all the wires and was very restless. I couldn’t really blame him. I’m feeling guilty because I left after 10 hours there. Luckily there’s a sitter with him.