Suffering from anxiety

Rosiecollazo

I am only child in my late 50. Lost my mom to same disease 15 yrs ago. Now my dad . He has been in rehab/assisting living for year now. How do deal with sundown around 6pm he wants me to pick him and take him out. He curses and slams things around his room. This causes me anxiety and my blood pressure goes up. Sometimes I wonders if I will go before him . Nerve wrecking. I am alone in this

SDianeL

so sorry you lost your Mom and now your Dad is ill. Is he in a memory care facility? He needs medication preferably from a Getiatric Psychiatrist to manage his anxiety and agitation. If he is calling you, speak to the nurse and tell them not to have him call until you get him medicated. They can tell him the phone isn’t working. Or let the calls go to voice mail. Tell him that the doctor won’t allow him to go. That’s what I told my husband when he said he wanted to go home. Can you take him for a walk at the facility? Learn to fib to him to help him with his anxiety.

Quilting brings calm

First, you make sure you are gone by 5pm. The staff knows how to deal with him. Second, you don’t answer the phone calls from him after 5pm. The staff will call you if they need you. If he’s using the facility phone, you work out a signal that the staff uses to let you know they are calling instead of him. Third, you call the doctor and ask for some antipsychotic meds because of the sundowning. Fourth - reduce the number of visits and phone calls from you. This is important because of your anxiety. You need the distance from him.

Rosiecollazo

Thank you Team it hard!! I get guilt trips when I dont answer and when I dont do my weekly visits. I love my dad. On weekends when I am off from work I bring him over to my home the next day he doesnt remember. Everyweek I take him his favorite snacks and coffee. I guess I have hope and have not accepted it.

Iris L.

You might want to read "Creating Moments of Joy" by Jolene Brackey. Your dad can no longer hold memories. But he most likely has enjoyment in the moment. Do things to make him feel joyful. Accept the reality that the joy may be fleeting. Avoid saying no, learn loving lies as Diane mentioned.

Iris