Delusions- how to respond

torieh

Please help me with how to respond to delusions and paranoia. My parent is very paranoid about someone stealing his items. He often hides tools and important things, forgets where he puts it, but then accuses someone of stealing. How do I respond to this without upsetting him?

M1

Welcome to the forum. Medication is your best bet, the atypical antipsychotics like Seroquel and risperidone can help a lot. Talk to his doctors….meanwhile don’t try to reason with him or correct him.

mabelgirl

My mom continues to do this even with medication but she is less agitated by it. I couldn’t say or do anything to alleviate it. I believe it was her defense because in her view there is nothing wrong with her therefore someone else must be doing it. While at my house it was me and my mechanical contraptions. Now that she’s in assisted living by herself it’s a fellow resident sneaking into her room. She puts a plastic chair by her door to keep her out! 🤭 There’s no reasoning with a PWD. You just got to try to help them find what’s missing and maintain patience. Prayers for patience.

Anonymousjpl123

Welcome to the forum - a lot of wisdom here from people who know firsthand. Paranoia is very common in people with dementia. No one experiences dementia exactly alike, but my mom’s paranoia was highest when she was moving into middle stages. I think a lot of it is fear + brain changes. Medication (seroquel) helped a lot. Getting the right level of care seems to have diminished her anxiety. She still has periods of paranoia especially in the evening, but it is much easier to calm her down now.

The best thing I have learned is the number one rule of dementia fight club: you cannot reason with someone who’s reasoner is broken. My mom ruined her relationship with a family member over stealing accusations - stealing things that I promise no one wanted (nightgowns, old bookcase). I kept telling family member to just say they were so sorry, and hopefully we can replace them. And that she understanda how upsetting it is. This type of meeting my mom where she is, letting her have her feelings, and moving on is the only thing that works.

Before she was in MC, I just did a lot of “oh god, that is awful. Well get to the bottom of it.” Which soon became “we will find someplace more secure.” But often nothing really helped. That’s when she started seroquel which worked wonders.

Now that she is in MC, it is a bit easier because staff know what to do. They have a skill for calming people down. Half the people there have some paranoia.

Jennifers01011

Thank you. Was seroquel for dementia or anxiety?

​fesk

Seroquel is an antipsychotic. It's not approved for elderly dementia patients but is quite commonly used - off label use. All antipsychotics carry risks (as does most medication), so I recommend doing research and discussing thoroughly with a geriatric psychiatrist to determine the best option for your father. It may be another medicine may help. Please also rule out any medical issue for the change in behavior if not done already.

Wish you the best of luck.