Lost laundry and the wedding dress

H1235

Mom is in AL and as you would expect some of her clothes have come up missing. Sometimes they return other times they don’t. It’s frustrating, but kind of to be expected. Mom is so frustrated she is now washing laundry in her bathroom sink. We set up something to hang things in the shower to dry. Her comprehension socks shouldn’t go in the dryer so we thought it was for them. Since then we have found it a lot more than the socks. Now she is demanding we bring her in a big tub to wash her clothes in🙄. This is NOT going to happen. Yet the other day she mentioned her new favorite pants she was wearing. I told her I didn’t think they were hers. She didn’t seem concerned that they didn’t belong to her. Mom loves to sew and can still do a lot. Apparently one of the other residents gave her her old wedding dress. Mom plans to wash it ( another reason for the tub). She does not trust the staff to wash it. She says if we can’t bring her a tub then she wants us to bring it home(her house) so she can wash it there (just finished an estate sale she knows nothing about). She will then rip out all the seams and use the material for a sewing project that will probably never happen. Mom wouldn’t show me the dress, but I’m picturing a beautiful vintage wedding dress. I wonder what this residents family thinks of their mom giving away her wedding dress. I think I’m going to talk with someone about this Monday. There is always something!

sandwichone123

My dh's stuff goes missing and "new" stuff appears, with his labels attached sometimes! I asked about one, which had his same first name written in, but the staff didn't know who that could have been, so I didn't argue. Occasionally other things show up in his room that are of some (not a lot) of value and I wonder which family (not resident) is missing them.This week's was a partial container of pink Himalayan salt. I'm sure the resident doesn't know the difference, but the family is looking for it. :-) I would certainly be looking for my mother's wedding dress—but if I'd taken it to memory care it would be knowing that it may go missing. With AL, they may have more expectation of normal apartment behavior. :-0

SDianeL

do you think there really is a wedding dress or could your Mom have cognitive issues? This is common in AL & MC facilities.

harshedbuzz

@H1235

Sadly, clothing does go missing. Even at dad's MCF, which did laundry in the individual halls one resident at a time as an optional activity, stuff disappeared. It's worse when things are done in mixed commercial loads. You could take the laundry home, but you'd still have issues with "shoppers" and badly soiled items.

The wedding dress? This is likely a delusion given the small amount of storage in these places. If might be another resident's delusion that stuck with your mom sort like the dementia-version of Whisper Down the Lane. Or it could be a conflated memory triggered by something she saw; there are a lot of FB Reels and TikToks where people restore vintage wedding gowns. She may have conflated this into her own experience.

HB

M1

My partner is 5’1” at most. Recently all her laundered clothes and towels went missing after a rare shower. Five days later we finally spotted the clothes on Harry, who is over six feet tall. I’ve pitched so many fits about missing laundry that it’s a sore point still and I do bring a lot of things home, though the towels are too much.

Tell her there’s a rule against washtubs because of concerns about leaks. Maybe the staff will back you up on that.

H1235

Apparently there is an actual wedding dress. I was told the resident that gave her the dress is of sound mind, but staff was going to have a conversation with a family member that was in the building today to make sure there was no problems. Mom being a hoarder she will take anything that is offered to her. I would be surprised if this is the last instance like this.