Resources for spouse?

JH2024

Are there any support groups specifically for spouses of Alz patients? The spouse dynamic is VERY different from the child dynamic. I’m really struggling with the intimacy aspect and desperately need to talk with people who understand.

M1

honestly, this forum is the best I’ve found.

jfkoc

If you are looking for an in-person group contact your nearest Alzheimer's Assoc. office.

jfkoc

RetaMeta55

I found an in person support group through the Alzheimer’s association. Just look up Alzheimer’s support groups. Put in your area and a list pops up. Good luck!

JH2024

thank you. I’ve searched and there are no groups in my area specifically for spouses. I’ve attended a few with adult children but not found much commonality with the spousal issues.

M1

It may feel hard to bring up intimacy issues here, but it does happen. Probably the most common issue discussed is hypersexuality in a male dementia spouse, and how the female caregiver handles that. The other thing that comes up is loss of intimacy altogether. Both are not uncommon.

JH2024

It’s totally the hypersexuality in a male patient thing. He pursues me constantly and is so “hurt” when I turn him down. It’s 24/7. He’s ordered all these ED supplements and Rx meds. I can’t yet take away his credit cards. I honestly want to leave him, but I won’t.

ImMaggieMae

Do you know approximately what stage he is? Have you talked to his doctor? There are medications that can help in many cases.

M1

absolutely, his doctor needs to know right away. Medication can definitely help. Don’t be afraid to bring it up. You’re not alone here, we’ve had plenty of others in the same predicament.

JH2024

Ok, thanks. I’ll try to communicate privately with his doctor.

White Crane

We went through this a few years ago. His neurologist prescribed some medication that helped.

JH2024

do you recall the name of the medication?

ImMaggieMae

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/225420#Comment_225420

There are probably others, but antipsychotics like Seroquel and Risperidone are two that I’ve seen mentioned here. But every patient is different. I hope you can get this behavior resolved quickly.

SDianeL

you also mentioned credit cards. He could get in real trouble with those. There are nightmare stories of people with dementia or Alzheimer’s falling victim to scammers, getting into massive debt, losing life savings trading stocks, etc so I would take control sooner than later.

JH2024

thank you for that! He only has access to a couple of low limit cards. He’s forgotten (conveniently) banking logins, so he can’t do much damage. At this point, he couldn’t trade stocks if he tried. LOL. but crying LOL ;0)