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Being able to sleep with him again

Jazzma
Jazzma Member Posts: 104
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edited October 15 in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

I've read so many comments here that reflect my own feeling of loss at no longer being able to sleep with my DH. It is such a simple yet intimate and comforting thing to do. He's been in a memory care facility for almost 6 months. It's close to home and I visit him at least every other day, often trying to nap together in a twin bed.

Last week I asked if it would be okay if I got him a double bed and spent the night occasionally. To my surprise they were very receptive, just asking that I let them know when I was there in case there was on emergency. I was able to find a free bedframe and mattress on a local Facebook site, and will be setting it up tomorrow.

I don't know if other facilities would offer this, or if it is even realistic in some situations. But I want others to know that it may be a possibility.

Comments

  • Carl46
    Carl46 Member Posts: 16
    10 Comments 5 Likes 5 Care Reactions
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    Happy for you. Thanks for sharing

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 742
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    Jazzma, I hope that works out well for you, and that you are able to enjoy a taste of marital bliss in all this.

  • ImMaggieMae
    ImMaggieMae Member Posts: 1,010
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    Jazzma, I think that’s a great idea. It’s nice that the care home was agreeable.

  • Nowhere
    Nowhere Member Posts: 272
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Likes 100 Care Reactions 100 Comments
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    Good for you! My husband and I often watch tv after dinner or nap in the afternoon in his twin bed and it is cozy. 😏 I was just thinking tonight that perhaps I could bring in a dbl bed, but trouble is his insurance is paying for this hospital bed rental (approved because of his GERD and being prone to choking on saliva when laying flat). He seems less anxious when we are lying physically close and holding hands. And I’m surprised how comforting it feels, too.

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,754
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    wonderful…

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,351
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    Good for you.

    When dad was in MC, he and mom used to nap in his single bed (at 5' 3" I'm tallest in the family) some afternoons. I think it did them both a world of good.

    HB

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 847
    Seventh Anniversary 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Likes
    Member

    Good for you! One of the things I miss most is sleeping with DH. I've tried to lie next to him in the twin bed at the MC but it is so small and he takes up most of the space.

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,710
    1,500 Care Reactions 1,500 Likes 5000 Comments 1,000 Insightfuls Reactions
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    We quit doing it because i couldn't take it emotionally. Too raw.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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