Being able to sleep with him again

Jazzma

I've read so many comments here that reflect my own feeling of loss at no longer being able to sleep with my DH. It is such a simple yet intimate and comforting thing to do. He's been in a memory care facility for almost 6 months. It's close to home and I visit him at least every other day, often trying to nap together in a twin bed.

Last week I asked if it would be okay if I got him a double bed and spent the night occasionally. To my surprise they were very receptive, just asking that I let them know when I was there in case there was on emergency. I was able to find a free bedframe and mattress on a local Facebook site, and will be setting it up tomorrow.

I don't know if other facilities would offer this, or if it is even realistic in some situations. But I want others to know that it may be a possibility.

Carl46

Happy for you. Thanks for sharing

sandwichone123

Jazzma, I hope that works out well for you, and that you are able to enjoy a taste of marital bliss in all this.

ImMaggieMae

Jazzma, I think that’s a great idea. It’s nice that the care home was agreeable.

Nowhere

Good for you! My husband and I often watch tv after dinner or nap in the afternoon in his twin bed and it is cozy. 😏 I was just thinking tonight that perhaps I could bring in a dbl bed, but trouble is his insurance is paying for this hospital bed rental (approved because of his GERD and being prone to choking on saliva when laying flat). He seems less anxious when we are lying physically close and holding hands. And I’m surprised how comforting it feels, too.

jfkoc

wonderful…

harshedbuzz

Good for you.

When dad was in MC, he and mom used to nap in his single bed (at 5' 3" I'm tallest in the family) some afternoons. I think it did them both a world of good.

HB

White Crane

Good for you! One of the things I miss most is sleeping with DH. I've tried to lie next to him in the twin bed at the MC but it is so small and he takes up most of the space.

M1

We quit doing it because i couldn't take it emotionally. Too raw.

Jazzma

I spent the night last night and it was warm and wonderful. I didn't sleep much, but just being that close to him was very comforting. When he woke up occasionally he knew who I was, though he was confused as to where we were. At one point he asked if the cats were on the bed (we have two, but he hasn't seen them in a long time). I'm so happy to be able to share this kind of time with him again.

FTDCaregiver1

Jazzma, wonderful idea for you both to still share intimate times in such a horrible situation.

Jo124c

I'm new here on Alzconnected. I joined some months ago and recently have been reading postings, finding them illuminating, educational and heartbreaking. Thanks to everyone who has shared. I feel my depression has lessened since reading them.

My DH is 82, we've been married 49 years. He suffered from MCI for many years and finally last year was diagnosed with ALZ. He's now in early stage 5. I feel I'm watching the breakdown of a personality.

I am appreciative to hear others speak of missing sleeping with their partner. That has been one of my fears and sadnesses when thinking about eventual placement. I am fortunate that things at present are fairly stable.

My DH has been suffering from missing his work environment and wanting to move away and get a job although he's been retired for 15 years (over and over again). Since he cannot figure out how to operate the TV or phone but cannot make the leap to being unable to work…it is very sad….he also doesn't remember much about his career and confabulates. I've learned just to accept were he's at.

Thanks again everyone for sharing.

JoR

ghphotog

I miss that to.

Joe C.

Good For you! I hope it works out.