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Mom was accepted into hospice

it’s rather surreal typing that subject line.

I got a call from the hospice agency out of the blue yesterday it has been two months since her first evaluation and they wanted to evaluate her again. I told the first person that called that I wanted to wait two weeks. The AL nurse is on vacation. Two hours later the second person from the agency called. She basically browbeat and badgered me into agreeing to have mom evaluated today. I figured this would be a waste of time.

So I spent 2 hours at Mom’s today - hospice nurse came 30 minutes after I got there. When he left, he and I agreed it would be borderline. She’s declined sone, but the only new thing is the shower assistance. I found out the staff has been doing more than they had been. They have to remind her to use soap and they have been assisting her in washing herself. Otherwise her ADLs haven’t changed. She is getting short of breathe walking even with oxygen though. Nothing that would indicate any real need for hospice

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,785
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    Qbc, my response is that the more help, the better. Don't let it throw you.....I hope it's a good thing ultimately.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,433
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    @M1 Yes, the extra sets of eyes and visits are what I really wanted. Mom will be gratified with the extra attention. A lot of her care will still be handled by the AL staff. I will discuss the shower aid possibility with the AL nurse when she gets back. I’m not sure Mom will want a stranger giving her a shower. The AL staff continued to do my step-dads even though he was on hospice

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,398
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    @Quilting brings calm

    It sounds like she was really, really borderline and they anticipated her qualification based on progression of her lung condition.

    I suspect she'll enjoy the additional one-on-one attention assuming her team is a good fit. She might benefit from extras like music therapy if offered.

    HB, whose MIL was on hospice for most of the last 5 1/2 years of her life.

  • Jeanne C.
    Jeanne C. Member Posts: 816
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    Hospice has been great (how’s that for a weird sentence?). Your mom will surely benefit from the additional care. And honestly I think you’ll appreciate the extra help and sets of eyes on mom. I know they were great with my husband at home. And even yesterday at the memory care, his regular hospice nurse was there to check on him within an hour of admission. The hospice social worker has done more for us than anyone else since the start of this journey. Hospice is a scary word, but I’ve learned that it should be synonymous to help.

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,826
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    Hospice= another member added to the team and that is a good thing.

    Do take advantage of all the services they offer you and your mother.

  • forbarbara
    forbarbara Member Posts: 172
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    QBC I thought of you today when my MIL finally got back into hospice. Third time. I called my husband and said “I’m so happy that she’s in hospice care”. Surreal indeed.
    I hope hospice is as helpful and supportive for you as they’ve been for me.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,433
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    edited October 18

    update. Mom called Wednesday and wanted me to come out. I couldn’t as I was on my way to a thyroid ultrasound 30 minutes in the opposite direction from her. ( result: biopsy needed on 2 of my thyroid nodules as they have grown). I called her yesterday( Thursday) from an all day sewing event I was at Somehow she has it in her head that her being on hospice means I am giving all my caregiving responsibilities away and she won’t see me anymore. So I will go out there today after two appointments that my spouse and I have. ( one medical-spouse, one - we are going to made a bid on a house that’s not on the market yet, realtor friend will help us write the offer).

    I was afraid she’d hear hospice and assume the worst about her own health. So far she either hasn’t heard the actual word or she hasn’t thought of that concern. The intake nurse was very careful to use the term ‘in services’.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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