Just venting

ronda b

I know most of you have been through this, just need to let some of it out. How do you deal with all the negative and getting angry at the least thing. Maybe angry is the wrong word. Dh can't stand the dogs to bark or the least little wait or what he precedes as not the way it should be. I'm always wrong or it's my fault. I know it's part of the disease, he has VD and AD, but diddly! You can't argue or get mad. Everything should be kept on the calm side no stress for him.

Today I went and got a cappuccino and went to the park and just cried. Yes I see a councler. Just some days.…..

ok I'm done. Thanks for listening. .

I know alot of you have it much worse. You are angels.

M1

ronda, have you talked to his doc about medication for this? Yes it's awful when you're always the target. Something for anxiety and aggression might help take the edge off. You need to let them know it is happening.

clarinetist

I have medications for me to help me stay calm! Love my antidepressant.

jsps139_

Ronda, Seroquel helped quite a bit with the exact thing you described, but those agitated and blaming episodes still crop up throughout the week. I’m now trying to stop looking for normal and just be satisfied with tolerable, which is where we are now. We have tolerable days and bad days; the good days seem to be gone now. But, I enjoy the tolerable days.
(((Hugs))) And we keep on going! ❤️

ronda b

He is on seroquel. Your right. It's tolerable now. If it gets worse will ask Dr to maybe increase med.. don't want to snow him.

Biggles

jsps139 great survival tactics, change your thinking, thank you for this, so I too am now looking for nothing much just tolerable days the normal went it feels like years ago. I can no longer understand much of what DH is saying but I can tell he is enjoying saying it so I try to say something encouraging with pleasant single word intonation. It’s a long journey filled with good, bad, acceptable and sad days, we’re all in this together but sometimes you feel so alone.

Dmarcotte

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70945/just-venting

It 's like you are talking about me. I am very new to this as my DH has not even been diagnosed yet, but you described his behavior exactly.

I have found that if I allow myself to feel the hurt and then start listing things that I am grateful for it is easier for me to let it go. I also find that lurking on this page and reading what others are experiencing makes me feel less alone.

SDianeL

the best advice I ever read on this forum was “you can’t reason with someone whose reasoner is broken”. They can’t reason enough to argue. They are anxious. There are tips you can try to redirect them. It’s not them, it’s the terrible disease.

Ruth1

Yes I am in my second round!! Lost my mom ro Dementia 5 years ago and had dealt with her for over 5 years and now my Husband is the patient! I was told with my mom to not argue at all if she says black is white just smile and go on with no comment but it is harder with a husband as you have things you just need to resolve and they can't. I am blessed so far as My DH has always had a wonderful disposition but the up at all hours of the night and anxiety still cause him to be agitated and acts like I have done something wrong but can't tell me what I did! he also can't tell me about his pain or where or what he feels… He can't hear well either so we are in a fix sometimes.. He hear music when there is no music being played and for a long time he got up and searched the house and outside to find it and woke me up to listen…. now he just wakes me at 3-4-5 Am for his clothes if I forget to put them out.. I feel your pain my DH was a research scientist and wrote over 200 papers and had a doctorate and now he reduced to asking me what a donut is.. yes i cry at times too…. My nurse friend told me this week to place him and I just don't think I can!! He is so dependent on me for his life! !I also find handling all the decisions and finances and travel a lot of work!! great to talk to someone else who is going through this too!!

lenbury

Recently I have just started walking away when my wife has one of her 'episodes'. Before I thought that was inconsiderate but now it is a survival technique and it seems to be working. When I return normally she has calmed down and the day continues.