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Merla
Merla Member Posts: 47
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edited November 27 in Caring for a Parent

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  • JM27
    JM27 Member Posts: 126
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    Hi Merla,

    I have not heard of this. Let us know how it goes.

  • housefinch
    housefinch Member Posts: 408
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    My mom was able to do this at their local airport (medium sized city—not a big hub airport). She explained the situation at check in I think. I still think, though, that people with dementia could be a safety risk just being on a plane alone, if they’re past the very early stages. My mom allowed my stepdad to fly much later than I thought was ok.

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 847
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    Merla,

    TSA Cares Program and your airline should be able to assist. But what about her being on a plane alone? Will she be ok?

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,518
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    Perhaps this could be the shoe dropping that makes it possible for you take steps you need to make to keep her safe.

  • Victoriaredux
    Victoriaredux Member Posts: 101
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    edited October 19

    Tempting as it is to have some days without her in the house , what is your plan if she melts down mid flight, doesn't/can't obey the flight attendants? You don't want her zip tied on the floor of the plane .

    You sure the family on the other end has the ability , patience and desire to get her on a plane back to you? If she is staying in her old home - how will you know it is locked and secured when she leaves ?

    Do you want to have probate court hearings in two states if things go badly?

    What is the "worse outcome" ? Sending an impaired person cross country with full access to their assets seems risky to me.

    If you are truly waffling about having the bandwidth to take on her care with your full family responsibilities - I'd explore with your lawyer- if having a professional care manager evaluate her now- pre-trip to see if an emergency guardianship hearing isn't a possibility and you back fill the medical documentation before the final hearing OR refer her to adult protective now and let them open a file.

    A lawyer with an active elder law litigation practice will know what professional care managers/guardians the courts are likely to listen to .

    This trip back is a very risky gamble. Long term, do you really want to take on managing her care? Making decisions and following through regardless of her stated wishes and whims. I know this is really hard for you Merla -I hope it resolves happily for all-and soon . Everyone safe. That's the goal.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 594
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    On my phone I can mark certain contacts as emergency contacts. I believe emergency responders would know to look for this on a phone. If you haven’t already I would mark yourself as an emergency contact on her phone. It might not hurt to just give her a piece of paper with your contact information to put in her pocket or purse. If you do get a call that she has been found lost and confused I would use that as an opportunity to insist on an evaluation. I would not just fly there and pick her up. I hope it goes well.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more