And another question - this one about being able to judge the heat of water

Palmetto Peg

My DH takes showers with help from me. Yesterday I realized he didn't have any towels, and I left him in the shower to go get some. When I came back (in probably 2 minutes) the bathroom was completely steamed up, and I stuck my hand in the water and it was so hot!!!! He used to take tepid showers because he hated hot water. His skin was very red, although not burned, but I am concerned that the water in there is too hot. After I left, I guess he felt cold and turned the water up higher. I also noticed that when they serve soup for a meal, he just spoons it in without blowing on it or waiting for it to cool. I ate with him the other night and the soup was HOT! Is this part of the dementia process? I am going to ask maintenance to check the temperature in his shower and turn it down - if that is even possible. There must be some code on acceptable hot water heater settings for facilities that deal with elderly and disabled individuals. I will also speak to the aides who serve the food and ask them to be sure his soup isn't too hot. As always, thank you all so much!

fmb

Short answer: Yes, this is typical.

I always had to monitor DH's shower water temperature when he was at home. At the ALF he was always showered by his hospice aide. Too hot food is also a problem. The kitchen plates the puree too soon and it gets cold. It then is microwaved, making it too hot to readily eat. I've finally convinced most of the aides to check before serving.

MN Chickadee

Yes at a certain point my mother had no concept of checking anything for being too hot. That level of reasoning disappears. It is absolutely appropriate to expect staff to serve food that is the right temp for eating. Believe me, he won't be the only one. And I don't know what state you are in but there is code for water temp maximums. The maximums vary by state and you should be able to find it with google. The facility may be required to have much hotter water for laundry facilities, but you should inquire as to how things work and what can be done. Some states require a special mixing valve that would prevent the hot water from flowing if the cold water doesn't, which is totally possible - if the municipal water was out water would still flow from the water heater and be dangerously hot. Do staff ever help him bathe or just you? I'm guessing they aren't allowed to leave him alone for even a moment so maybe they worry less about this problem but definitely worth asking about.

Palmetto Peg

This morning was the first time a staff member showered him. I told her what had happened with me with the hot water and she said she would put a note in his file to always stay with him and to check the temp of the water. I am kicking myself for leaving him alone at all, but I never even gave it a thought because he was always wanting the water too cool for me. Scary learning experience! I did check online for what is a scalding temperature, and at 140 degrees, a scalding burn can happen in 3 seconds. In my apartment (this is a CCRC) the hot water it set at 140 degrees! I am sure it is the same over in the memory care section, and I am going to raise a concern with management. There is no anti-scald valve on his shower, and I am sure there is nothing on any of the others. Laundry facilities can have a heat booster pump installed, but in the rooms it shouldn't be hotter than 120.

I am also going to speak to the food service aides about checking the temp of all food for all residents. Thanks for the information! It made me think and start looking. I always wonder about the people in these facilities who don't have family close at hand to check that they are safe. People like us have to help to make it safe for them, too!