Exhausted and Frustrated

Yogogrl

Hello!! I am new to the site. My mom and sister are caring for my dad with dementia-I live in another state. My dad often “loses” my mom during the day and gets very upset and my mom and sister spend countless hours trying to console him and help him “find” her. It is exhausting and increasing in frequency. He also has to be watched constantly as he tries to do things but cannot. He does not want anyone in the house or yard-can’t hire anyone to help -he thinks they are stealing or not doing the job right. Hard to get him out of house so sneaking people in to do jobs is not an option. He would not even let my sister rake the leaves. He does not sleep well so my mom and sister never get a break. They are trying a caregiver tomorrow but are apprehensive because he does not want anyone in the house and will it really give her a break as dad shadows mom constantly. They are going to say the caregiver is for mom. Any tips in general? how to get these jobs done without setting him off or how to have a successful transition into a caregiver??? Thank you🙏

M1

welcome to the forum. They should definitely talk to his docs about medication to tamp down the anxiety and paranoia. An atypical antipsychotic like Seroquel can help a lot and should also improve his sleep. They may or may not be able to introduce a caregiver; memory care may also be appropriate if they can afford it.

Yogogrl

thank you -I called the Dr today.

mabelgirl

The prescription medications certainly helped my mom, but it was melatonin that greatly improved her sleeping. Prayers for peace for your family.