I Need HELP!

Wesmimi2023

Hello, I am new here and living with and caring for my almost 82 yo mother with Alzheimer’s /Dementia. For the last month/weeks (this week especially) has
been increasingly agitated, angry, verbally abusive, wondering off and PHYSICALLY aggressive. I spoke with her doctor who suggested a UTI and started her on antibiotics and suggested raising her evening sleep meds but it feels like this is going to be my new normal. I/she cannot afford $5000 a month facility care AND I HAVE to work! My father and only sibling passed away 5 and 3 years ago so myself and my husband are alone in this. I need help! Any suggestions from those who’ve navigated this awful journey before??

SusanB-dil

Hi Wesmimi2023 - Welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

Do you have a neurologist on your team? It sounds like anti-psychotic meds may be in order. MIL is on, and with adjusted dose, does not mean 'zombie-ish'. Especially the physical and verbal aggression. If necessary and she lashes out, you may have to call 9-1-1 and she may have to be admitted to geri-psych to get that under control. You need not be subjected to that!

Is paperwork of DPOA and HIPAA in order? also important.

So sorry you are dealing with 'this'. it bites!!!

M1

Welcome. Susan is right, if you haven't already done so you need to talk to a certified elder law attorney about getting durable power of attorney for healthcare and finances, and about qualifying her for Medicaid. If she cannot sign for power of attorney, you may need to sue for guardianship. Getting her qualified for Medicaid will give you access to some home health assistance (but not much), and may allow you to place her in a facility that accepts Medicaid payment.

H1235

A local area commission on aging might be able to talk through some aid options. Medicaid may require a spend down. Meaning she will need to use up almost all of her money first before she qualifies. Be careful how you spend it (no gifting). An elder law attorney can help. It’s complicated. Qualifications vary by state as well as services covered. I hope you can find some help.

JeriLynn66

Get Help and Support, Day or Night

The Alzheimer’s Association is here all day, every day for people facing Alzheimer’s and other dementia through our free 24/7 Helpline (800.272.3900). Talk to a dementia expert now and get confidential emotional support, local resources, crisis assistance and information in over 200 languages. It's ok if you don't know where to start. Just give us a call and we'll guide you from there.800-272-3900

Mimi,

Ask for a Care Consultant when you call. These are licensed Social Workers who can assist you in locating resources. Good luck and let us know how you're doing,

JeriLynn