DPOA

[Deleted User]

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M1

So...you don't have copies of the documents? Then yes, you need to talk to the attorney. If you are named poa and need to invoke it then absolutely you have not only the right but an obligation to see them. Edited to add: don't assume she has contacted the attorney about her diagnosis. She probably hasn't.

H1235

We had all the paperwork done just after mom’s diagnosis. The lawyer told us to keep all the originals and give mom copies. You never know what crazy direction dementia is going to take. What happens if she takes a bad turn (paranoia, anger) and decides she doesn’t want you to be her DPOA anymore and destroys the documents. When (not if) it gets to a point that you need to use the DPOA asking her for the documents is probably not going to go well. People with dementia usually don’t see their symptoms and limitations ( even if she is accepting the diagnosis now). This causes all kinds of problems. Obviously you don’t want to cause problems if you can help it, but I have found that safety (physical and financial) have to take priority over keeping LO from getting upset. Maybe if you approach it very casually. Do you know where she keeps the documents? Could you just get them and replace them with copies? If you are named as her DPOA the lawyer should not have a problem talking to you. She is probably going to get upset about a lot of thing’s moving forward. Loosing the ability to drive and manage money will be tough. I hope you can figure something out.

[Deleted User]

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H1235

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/226930#Comment_226930

Maybe it could be as easy as a phone call to the lawyer that drew them up. Might be worth a try.

reny

states may vary but what terrified me was when atty told me with poa my dad could declare he’s competent and lawfully leave MC. They could try to coerce him to stay but can’t make him. I had to get legal guardianship to ensure his safety that he couldn’t say he’s good and walk out. He thinks he’s fine so it was a real concern. He’s in OK. His DPOA was from 1996 luckily he redid the HPOA in 2022 although it wasn’t of any help until we finally got a dementia diagnosis in writing. Best wishes.