DPOA

howdoidothis

I went with my mother to her follow up after starting Aricept. The neurologist confirmed an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, which I’d put together, but it wasn’t in writing on the test results I’d seen.
Its in early stages and my mom is very able at this point, although I’ve noticed she does better focusing on one thing at a time then her previous multitasking ways. She also needs a little more processing time sometimes. If we didn’t live together, I doubt I’d notice any change other than what I would assume is normal aging.
She had all the estate planning stuff done about 10 years ago. Some places I read say some of it needs to be regularly updated. Other places say the DPOA is good forever. (Thanks, internet, for the clarity). The doctor said if memory is an issue that lawyers tend to hesitate to change anything. Mom indicated today that it’s all as it should be, but I’m wondering by CA law if we need anything updated. I don’t want to push her into anything since sometimes she gets aggravated when I approach financial discussions. I’m not sure if I need to suggest she follow up with the lawyer who originally wrote everything up or if it’s better to leave things as-is. I just don’t want problems if we need to put her in memory care down the line.
Would it be unethical for me to call the attorney and find out if anything needs to be updated? Would they even talk to me?

M1

So...you don't have copies of the documents? Then yes, you need to talk to the attorney. If you are named poa and need to invoke it then absolutely you have not only the right but an obligation to see them. Edited to add: don't assume she has contacted the attorney about her diagnosis. She probably hasn't.

H1235

We had all the paperwork done just after mom’s diagnosis. The lawyer told us to keep all the originals and give mom copies. You never know what crazy direction dementia is going to take. What happens if she takes a bad turn (paranoia, anger) and decides she doesn’t want you to be her DPOA anymore and destroys the documents. When (not if) it gets to a point that you need to use the DPOA asking her for the documents is probably not going to go well. People with dementia usually don’t see their symptoms and limitations ( even if she is accepting the diagnosis now). This causes all kinds of problems. Obviously you don’t want to cause problems if you can help it, but I have found that safety (physical and financial) have to take priority over keeping LO from getting upset. Maybe if you approach it very casually. Do you know where she keeps the documents? Could you just get them and replace them with copies? If you are named as her DPOA the lawyer should not have a problem talking to you. She is probably going to get upset about a lot of thing’s moving forward. Loosing the ability to drive and manage money will be tough. I hope you can figure something out.

howdoidothis

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/226925#Comment_226925

That’s good advice. I know where the document are. I will make copies.
I think my real question is whether that type of thing expires, since it was all drawn up so long ago.

H1235

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/226930#Comment_226930

Maybe it could be as easy as a phone call to the lawyer that drew them up. Might be worth a try.

reny

states may vary but what terrified me was when atty told me with poa my dad could declare he’s competent and lawfully leave MC. They could try to coerce him to stay but can’t make him. I had to get legal guardianship to ensure his safety that he couldn’t say he’s good and walk out. He thinks he’s fine so it was a real concern. He’s in OK. His DPOA was from 1996 luckily he redid the HPOA in 2022 although it wasn’t of any help until we finally got a dementia diagnosis in writing. Best wishes.

Victoriaredux

Not a lawyer , but a triggered DPOA should survive incapacity so that's the "forever" they probably mean. Do documents go bad? Laws change, court rulings happen and society discovers new twists - having a current document may avoid having to have an issue clarified in court. Updating is also a chance to refresh the list of successors [dropping folks who passed , got sick or moved too far to make sense to serve if needed] .

Trusts and wills usually need a look over too due to family changes, the same law changes as above and tax issues .And medicaid planning .

A trust can sometimes keep the same name but be restated completely so you don't have to retitle property or bank accounts but the wording etc is up to date.