Getting Someone Diagnosed

Kathy65Ann

Hello, my mom lives with me and I've been seeing signs of dementia, depression, anxiety in her. At times, she will say " I think there is something wrong" and when I suggest talking with a doctor, she immediately says "NO". I had a virtual appointment with her PCP and she couldn't believe what I was telling her. She said she would have a nurse contact me about setting up an appointment but she never did. They don't even contact my mom to get her in for her yearly Medicare wellness visit. Has anyone else experienced trouble getting the patient to a doctor? My mom is very strong willed. She told me that her PCP told her to just call them if she needed them. I don't believe that at all. The only doctor I have been able to get her too is her cardiologist. I'm at a loss… Thanks in advance! 😔

M1

Welcome to the forum. Unfortunately this is a pretty common scenario. Make an appointment for her, and tell her that they called, there's a new Medicare requirement that you have to be seen or you'll lose your insurance. Write down all of your concerns ahead of time (be detailed, with examples) and get them to the doctor's office, either by patient portal or delivery in person. Go with her to the appointment. If you don't have HIPPA clearance with their office, remember that you can always express your concerns to them, although they may be limited in how they can respond. Honestly though, most good practitioners realize that it is usually the family that notices and complains first.

At the very least, the PCP can rule out treatable causes (primarily through bloodwork). Whether the PCP or you can convince her to go into any further diagnostic evaluation is iffy, but you can try.

harshedbuzz

I agree with M1. It is critical to rule out treatable causes of conditions with similar symptoms to dementia that may be treatable.

My dad had mixed dementia. One was a form of alcohol-related dementia that improved considerably with treatment and lifestyle changes for a time before he started drinking again and his Alzheimer's progressed. My mom is not yet diagnosed, but has had the preliminary bloodwork and MRI. The bloodwork was positive for Lyme Disease and she has improved somewhat with treatment.

Many people get a parent into the office creating some sort of therapeutic fiblet to make it happen. Sometimes folks tell their LO they need to be seen by PCP to keep their Medicare. If she's invested in the cardiologist, you could tell mom s/he wants her to see PCP before the next appointment. If this fails, you could say the appointment is for you with her providing moral support. If that doesn't work, you might need to wait for her to need medical care for some other reason.

I would describe what you are seeing in a bulleted list for the PCP ahead of time (bring a copy to discretely hand to the person at check-in and ask the doctor see it before coming in. Ask for a screening for dementia.

Good luck.

HB

H1235

Who would the nurse have called to set up an appointment? If they have your moms number it could be they did call and she said no need for an appointment. Or maybe the nurse just messed up and didn’t call. Either way you need to be persistent and come up with whatever excuse you need to to get her in. Do you have hippa rights. It’s going to be very hard without. I did just what M1 and harshedbuzz suggested. It worked well. The PCP did a very quick in office evaluation that she did fine on. I believe it was the note that made the pcp decide to send her to a neurologist. The neurologist testing was much more involved. It ended with them telling her she should not live alone and she should not drive. I hope you can figure something out.

Kathy65Ann

Thank you all!!❤️

Jo C.

My mother had FTD and the behaviors were often over the top. I found that it was by far best to use to use "therapeutic fibs" when necessary in order to get many matters managed. It was difficult the first couple of times I used such a dynamic as I do value truth; however, I soon discovered the fiblets were a kindness and helpful for my LO and kept meltdowns and severely angry refusals from occurring and also managed to get important matters taken care of that otherwise would have caused significant negative outcomes or other problems.

We learn through experience doing our best and what we must do as we move through such journeys; sometimes kind thoughtfulness can feel very sad.

J.