Adjusting to part time caregiver

Cindy9519

I’ve been a full time caregiver for my husband for 5 years. He is in the moderate stage of Alzheimer’s and resists going to day programs. I hired an experienced part time caregiver to help me a few times a week. My husband doesn’t understand this new person in our home and was very irritated with me the second time I left the house and he was alone with her for a few hours. He said she was babysitting and he does not need that.

Does anyone have any experience with this and how long it takes to adjust to a new person?

Karen711

Hi Cindy- I have no useful advice at this point, but very much look forward to hearing others' experiences with this as I am hoping to bring in help also. My DW has anosognosia and thinks she is just fine, but has reached the stage where it's best for her not to be left alone. I know she will be angry about having a stranger in the house. I did find an elder care organization that, among other services, offers a program called The Humming Bird Project, where people specially trained in dementia care AND creative processes and projects of all kinds, come for short visits (2 hours) and they try to find projects to work on together that would be of particular interest to my DW. I'm not sure but I thought maybe that would be a good slow "lead-in" for some more extended outside help.

Best Wishes,

Karen

SDianeL

I told my husband that the caregiver was for me so I could go to my doctor appointments. He resisted at first but after 3 visits he asked if “my lady was coming today” He actually looked forward to her “visits”. She came once a week for 4-5 hours. He did say he didn’t like her using our bathroom and eating our food. She would bring her own lunch and warm it in the microwave. 🙂

Pat6177

I told my DH that the person does housecleaning. Early on, he was able to make the connection that she would show up and I would leave. Now, he grumbles some but takes it in stride. Initially, he would say that she didn’t do much housework and I would tell him we didn’t pay her much. I would say that she must really need the work since she’s retirement age but still working. He’s more of a loner and has never played games or done activities so I have told the caregiver to keep her distance. Which is why I needed a cover story. You’ll need a fiblet and the nature of the fiblet depends on your DH. Good luck!

Cindy9519

Thanks to everyone who commented-such good advice and perspective.

Gratefully

Cindy