Stressed out

Clarissa77

H1235

Welcome! This is a great staging tool.
If you take a good look you will see that it gives a rough age equivalent at each stage. Having her in assisted living 3,000 miles away doesn’t make sense to me. You have to make decisions now. She is just not able to! If she refuses then file for guardianship. She needs you to take charge and take care of her!

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6372d16ea4e02c7ce64425b7/t/63f7b80d80d8aa3e3aa4a47d/1677178894184/DBAT.pdf

eaglemom

You have been given some very sound good advice. I was just wondering if you had any questions about anything? This is difficult, I totally understand that. Also, I'm an 'only' so I understand that aspect also. My mom was 578 miles from me - it doesn't get easier.

Would you consider moving her near you? If she isn't vested in her friends where she's living now, maybe that is something to think about.

Let us know what your thinking now.

eagle

H1235

People with dementia often have anosognosia. This is an inability to understand their limitations and symptoms. Dementia is about a lot more than just memory issues. Dementia also comes with a lack of good judgment. As their loved ones we need force them to do things that will keep them safe even if they don’t like it! In my opinion the idea is to act before something tragic happens. I’m not sure why you believe you can’t act til there is a crisis. If you have DPOA you not only have the right to act but the obligation to act. If you are waiting because you need to file for guardianship, she will be evaluated by a doctor as part of the process. Waiting for something bad to happen may mean she hits a child while driving, a fire in her house and she doesn’t know what to do… Are you really ok with waiting. Telling our parent they have to do something they don’t want to is very tough.