Visiting DH A Huge Success

Dio · November 1

As some of you may recall, I have only visited DH once since his placement 1-1/2 yrs ago given the very first visit was a huge disaster. With his neurologist telehealth appointment coming up in December, I figured I had better not make the telehealth appt day be my first "revisit." Moreover, I felt obligated to bring him his mail-in ballot so that he can exercise his right to vote. He's been following the debates and reading the newspapers on current events. I already cut this visit as close as possible and decided today was it. Needless to say, I've been dreading this visit for fear of another disastrous outcome.

But today's visit was great! It had turned out to be more than perfect!

As many support group members suggested, I went with a friend who served as a buffer. When DH first saw me, as my visit was a huge surprise to him, he cried but it was an overwhelmed joy cry. He was so happy to see me. (I'm glad he was able to cry because he had not been able to cry for the past 3 years.) We talked the whole 3 hours I was there. He introduced me to everyone there…damn! he knows everyone's name including the spouse's, and gave me a tour of the place, LOL, as if I have never been there before. He was in high spirits and talked a mile a minute. He never asked why I haven't visited and didn't push for me to visit more. When I left, he didn't pine for coming with me and never iterated that he wanted to go home. He was simply so happy I was there. I learned firsthand what his state is like now with the addition of the miracle drug, depakote sprinkles. There were a few nuances that told me the disease is still lurking, but overall he's like a changed person. In his words, "it's like my brain got reset." I'll take this day as a huge win and will savor this wonderful feeling for a long time. I hope this feeling will help sustain me through the rough days ahead when that dip in the roller coaster hits.

At least the guilt of not visiting him has been lifted. I will sleep well tonight.