Rough Week

White Crane

A couple of weeks ago I went to my dermatologist for my annual skin check. She said a small mole on my back had changed color since last year and she removed it. I found out this week that it was a melanoma. She said it was early…in situ. She is going to have to take additional tissue to make sure to get all of it. I'm so grateful to God that she found it early and no further treatment will have to be done. Even so, this has left me feeling depressed and anxious and crying easily.

The lenses in my glasses needed changing so I went to the eye doctor. I have prisms in my lenses so I don't see double. The doctor has tried three times to get the new lenses correct and they still aren't right. When I went in Wednesday to pick up the new lenses, I couldn't read with them. The lenses I am wearing are not good and it is difficult to read the road signs. Both of these things are getting to me and I miss having my husband here to comfort me and just be with me. He is doing okay in MC and I think I miss him more than he misses me. I don't like being alone.

Brenda

JoseyWales

I'm so glad that she caught that mole!

I get what you're saying about having no one to talk to about these things. I miss that, too.

easy23

Glad you caught the melanoma! My 88 year old father had a stage 2C malignant melanoma on his upper arm. The doctor couldn't remove the entire mole without a surgery. My father opted to only remove the visible portion of the mole and leave the rest (which was in his arm). He is now 92 1/2 years old and has no sign of the melanoma spreading.

Biggles

The isolation and loneliness of this disease is horrible, no one to share all the bits of life with, no one who really cares, an emptiness that just goes on and on; life is so difficult. We are having breakfast outside with the birds under the trees it’s a lovely setting but I’m sitting next to my DH who is stage 3 or 4 VD also APHASIA so his conversation is almost non verbal so very sad, lonely and frustrating. Getting sick yourself or having something go wrong is one of the most worrying things when you are totally responsible for someone, it hits me in the pit of my stomach if I allow myself to think about it. One step at a time I keep telling myself. Thinking of you.

M1

So sorry to hear this Brenda. But I'm glad your husband is doing okay, that's a relief that gives you time And space at least to deal with these other things. Bravo to you for going to the dermatologist-im overdue. The eye issues are mystifying, i hope they can get it right. Ophthalmology is a unique field relatively impenetrable for the rest of us!

trottingalong

I’m glad they caught the melanoma early. I had mine caught early 6 years ago. I remember being overwhelmed and scared when got the call. I had my husband to calm me down and for me to talk to. I think all of us miss them not being present even though they are physically there. I hope they figure out your lenses very soon.

SDianeL

Brenda I know how you feel. So sorry. Glad they found the melanoma early. Is there anyone you can talk to? Hugs.

Nowhere

White Crane-

I’m sorry these problems are added to your bucket. Thank goodness, though, you saw your physician and he/she caught it. I hope your glasses can be reetched to provide you with single vision. Seeing clearly and keeping your health are important. I understand what you mean about your husband being okay, and maybe missing you less than you miss him. I asked my husband today, “Who in the whole world would you wish could be here with us right now”? His answer was, “My wife”. I’ve suspected for awhile that it isn’t I who he thinks I am. I’m a girl friend- a non significant other. But, I realized, he is remembering our old relationship and missing it as much as I do, too, So, in a defeatist way, you and I (and other spouses/partners here) were “it” at one time. And one time is gone, but it’s all he has to hold onto. So it’s a win. Right? 🥴
Be well, my cohort friends.

Carl46

Brenda, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.

Cancer is scary, and having no one to hug makes it much worse. At least I still had my wife's help when I had cancer. it scared her more than it did me, I think, but we dealt with it and the treatment together. If I had it again I don't think I would even tell her because it would frighten her and she couldn't help me.

Whyzit2

White Crane, I can appreciate your situation with your glasses. I too wear prisms and am waiting for the third remake. I couldn’t read either so they are increasing the magnification. They are wonderful when the prescription is right. Hope this time works for both of us!🙏🥴

White Crane

Thank you forum friends. Your care and support mean so much. I've been waiting all moring for the eye doctor's office to call like they said they would but so far they haven't. I will need to call them. Whyzit2, I'm sorry you're having this same trouble with your lenses. It's so frustrating!

I called a friend last night and that helped. She is going to pick me up when I ago back to the dermatologist on the 19th for the necessary removal of more tissue. It's scary but it was caught early so I am very grateful.

When I visited my husband yesterday, I was able to sit on his bed for awhile and lay my head on his chest while he hugged me. That felt good and he seemed to know that I needed it. Again, thank you all for being here.

Brenda

Beachfan

Brenda,

Are you a candidate for Mohs surgery? I’ve had Mohs a number of times for basal cell, squamous cell and melanoma carcinoma. (I’m paying for a life as a “beachfan”.) Overall, it was unremarkable, unless the site is hard to manage for changing bandages (you mentioned your back). Hopefully, your experience will be just a bump in the road as was mine. I’ll be thinking’s of you. Good luck; I’m sure you’ll be just fine! 🤞🏻

Dio

Brenda, so sorry for your situation. Please do lean on close friends. We often feel as if we don't want to bother others, but good friends won't mind. Glad your friend will be helping you. We are also here, tho virtual, to provide support and a safe place for you to vent or someone to talk to.

brs

Thinking of you Brenda and sending a hug. I'm a 2.5 melanoma survivor. The disease is frightening to be sure, however, thankfully the continued advancement of treatment is life saving and dare I say, life saving.