How many broken TVs is the limit?

AlzWife2023

DH gets peeved some nights if I ask him to brush his teeth and he gets worked up if his phone charger is not cooperating & this has led to an eruption of him throwing his phone on a few occasions. Last time he broke the TV. Time before just missed my head. He threw it tonight & I have not checked the TV for damage…just bought a new one…. Will check in the morning. Our two sons are very alarmed by the behavior, but I am used to it…

Just wondering how many broken TVs before he loses privileges, in your opinion? LOL

He’s generally mellow but gets very triggered and nasty some nights. He usually just turns out the light in frustration & goes to sleep after an outburst. He yells & curses, too. He doesn’t have his hearing aids on in bed so that makes communicating in these instances difficult & sometimes almost impossible.

I’m just venting I guess. A thing like this makes me think of how much everything and everyone revolves around his needs. Not news but ….

Quilting brings calm

two. I would not replace a tv in his bedroom.

SusanB-dil

uughh - This happens mostly in the evenings? Wonder if it is sundowning and if there is something you can do with that, such as more lighting, or a different med?

Concerned for you with those outbursts. Please let his doc know about that. Maybe one or two meds could be adjusted.

harshedbuzz

I am so sorry.

This is a difficult and risky situation for both of you.

I would talk to his doctor about medication to address his aggression asap. I would even consider having him transported to an ER for transfer to a geripsych unit for inpatient medication management. Aside from being a risk to you, it's not good for him to be experiencing these strong emotions.

The other step would be to rid the home of anything triggering or capable of being weaponized. When we moved dad home from rehab, we removed his guns, golf clubs, cast iron pans, small tables, heavy lamps, etc.

HB

Jo C.

HB's Post is right on spot. He is suffering; it is affecting the quality of life for both of you. It is time to get him to care for med adjustment and also for getting labs done to see if there is anything contributing to this such as a UTI or other body system gone sideways.

Hopefully this can be assisted to bring both of you peace. Let us know how you are doing.

J.

--Rebecca--

Operation of a phone became more and more anxiety inducing for my father. If the charger is difficult for DH to use, try another style of charger. Try a docking station in which he just lays it on the charger.

If evenings are his red zone, behaviorally, work up a plan to deal with it. Is he still at a phase where he can contribute to this plan? Can he brush his teeth after dinner, and be allowed to just fall asleep without a "going to bed" routine? Can you be tasked with charging his phone?

Ask him what about the evenings is frustrating. If he just wants to fall asleep, and be left alone, what are the consequences of this? What will happen if he doesn't brush his teeth and his phone battery dies? These are the kinds of questions I'm asking myself, as I manage my dad's self care.

Whyzit2

Only one! If he breaks one he has shown that he can’t manage it. Bite the bullet and accept what is. Don’t waste your time and finances on what he has dramatically shown you what will never improve.

AlzWife2023

Thankfully, the new TV was spared and the hand-me-down replacement iPhone survived. Thanks for all your help. He needs a better bedside table setup. You’ve all made me realize that. 😭 Also, putting him to bed by laying down with him is a good hack to curtail the obsessive focus on the phone. He falls asleep quickly when I do this.