Managing Work and Caregiving

beachgirl63

I am struggling with how to juggle both a full time job and caregiving. My DH was dignosed with Alzheimer's at 60…4 years later and I am thinking it is time to leave work and stay home full time with him as I am worried about his recent decline. Also, thinking I need to sell our home to fund his care…so much anxiety over all of this…

​fesk

I don't think there are any easy answers to this. Everyone's situation is different. Some choose to place their loved ones in memory care - others choose to care for them at home.

I care for my mother full time. She has lived with me for many years; however, trying to work full time and care for her with the help of aides was too stressful. I would like to keep her at home, if possible, so I recently stopped working. It is very difficult to find good, reliable aides. I worked from home and had to assist the aides throughout the day which interfered with my work. Plus, when the aides weren't here, I was taking care of my mother. It was non-stop.

I will eventually go back to work but, for now, this is what I need to do. I also realize there may come a time when I cannot care for her at home. I'll cross that bridge when/if I get to it.

Are you able to take a leave or modify your work hours before making the decision to stop working completely? You mention a decline. Will you be able to care for him or will you have the assistance of aides? I don't know what stage he is in - would adult day care be appropriate? It is very isolating to be a full time caregiver too. Do you have any support in place to help you?

I think everyone has to do what they are comfortable with and there are no right or wrong answers. As everyone's situation is different, I don't believe there is one solution that is better than another either.

DWTired

My heart goes out to you! 💕 Pray God hive you the wisdom to make the right decisions.

Carl46

Please talk to a CELA before you make any major changes. You may not have to sell your home or quit your job to get help with your LO.

Biggles

I understand only too well how you are feeling this has been the hardest time in my life. I too have had to make these decisions. My story goes I quit my full time job to look after my DH, took up part time work, sold our house of 30 years which broke my heart, moved 400kls to be near our daughter, had to find a place to call home and down sized to a small house. Nothing was easy, money was tight, packing and sorting was sad, contending with my younger sister who lived in another state and who kept saying just look at it like a fun adventure got me to screaming point. Of course the sale didn’t go smoothly and settling in was so very difficult but we have survived.

2 1/2 years later and I am still sad every day on the verge of tears but we have survived with the help of good people around me and a little puppy.
No decision at this stage is right, wrong or easy, follow your heart and what feels right for you. This is a hideous disease I wish you so much luck.

Belle60

I struggle with this everyday. But most say if you can it is best for you to continue to work. It is best for your sanity. But it is an individual decision. Juggling both has become very hard and I will most likely retire next year. I have part time help going into the home when I am not there. And I telework some days which has also become more difficult. I feel guilty when going to work and I feel relieved. So hard…….. There is no right or wrong answer to this question….it is best what works for you and your family.

cdgbdr

I work full time and for the last two months have someone with DH 9-3. One day a week his family comes, the rest I have a very reasonably priced companion. I have cameras in the house and watch when he is alone. I am 65 and planned to work until 70. I don't think that will happen now. For the moment this is a workable plan but it could change at any time. I don't think I could stop working now and be ok in a variety ways.

CampCarol

I quit work a year ago, it just became too much to try and do both effectively. I miss it a lot, but it was the right thing to do for me at the time . I do agree with @Carl, speak with a financial advisor or CELA to see if you have any other options.

Carl46

One of my friends worked full time and her husband with AD spent the day in an adult day care facility near her home. His disability check about paid for his care there, and she supported them with her wages. That's an option you might consider.

I retired and care for my wife full time, but I was 72 and about ready to retire anyway. I do miss the intellectual challenge, the socialization, and the money.