New to the group. Need a listener pls

reny

Hi. My dad has dementia and in MC in a dif state. I’m his guardian and take care of things for him but haven’t talked to him in few months as I suffer from ptsd and he’s my trigger. He mailed me a letter of sorts - various scraps of paper, misspellings and incoherent sentences. I can’t stop crying. It’s so hard to see his decline. My mom passed 14 months ago had ALZ but she was quiet and didn’t try writing. He has always been a talker and when I’ve talked with him on the phone it’s challenging and I guess if I’m being completely honest factors a little bit into not wanting to talk to him. Seeing his “letter” a tipping point I guess. It’s so upsetting. He’s always been intelligent. How have others dealt with the realization that their LO is a shadow of their past self?