New to the group. Need a listener pls

reny

Hi. My dad has dementia and in MC in a dif state. I’m his guardian and take care of things for him but haven’t talked to him in few months as I suffer from ptsd and he’s my trigger. He mailed me a letter of sorts - various scraps of paper, misspellings and incoherent sentences. I can’t stop crying. It’s so hard to see his decline. My mom passed 14 months ago had ALZ but she was quiet and didn’t try writing. He has always been a talker and when I’ve talked with him on the phone it’s challenging and I guess if I’m being completely honest factors a little bit into not wanting to talk to him. Seeing his “letter” a tipping point I guess. It’s so upsetting. He’s always been intelligent. How have others dealt with the realization that their LO is a shadow of their past self?

BfloSis

It is very difficult to watch and accept. My LO also struggles on the phone—at this point it's just me talking about my own day and her listening and maybe saying "good" or "yes." I keep calling because I do think she likes to hear my voice and know I'm thinking of her. When I am overwhelmed by my own feelings about it, I write in a journal and just pour it all out. The journal also helps me keep track of how things are changing with her and find ways to adjust my approach to keeping in touch between visits. As she fades and becomes more helpless, I just try to maintain the love and comfort and feeling of being connected. That's all that's left of our relationship, really.