Update on Mom in AL

NizhoniGrrl

It has now been about 2 months since she has been in AL, and 10 weeks since she broke her wrist. The bones are officially healing. She asks almost every visit when she will move back to IL. She is playing bridge once a week (kudos to the rec director who started it as an official activity - after a few weeks it whittled down to one group of four), and plays pool by herself (I played a game with her and was shocked was so good, though she often forgot if she was stripes or solids and thought she sunk the wrong ball). Her boyfriend at IL was moved into another facility for assisted living and she lives the food where she is now. And yet, the persistence in asking continues unabated! We keep saying it is off the table until she can do all the things she used to with her bad hand. It’s getting annoying and at some point I’m just going to snap and say, it’s not happening, you can’t handle it and I can’t handle it, so stop asking! 😡 And, not unrelated, she no long has dizzy spells, her apartment doesn’t smell, and she is bright and awake and cheerful - all because she is getting the care she needs. Unfortunately that is evidence to her that she is “better” and doesn’t belong there. 🤷🏻‍♀️

H1235

I get it. Mom is constantly telling me to “just explain why i can’t live in my house”, says she deserves an explanation or “why I can’t go visit my house” (we are trying to sort and clean, she does not know). Any explanation I give causes her to argue. There is nothing she will accept. When I tell her I’m not going to talk about it she gets mad. I took her to the dentist yesterday which is not far from her house ( I always cringe when we go there because of that) and she insisted on stopping at her house. We didn’t stop and she didn’t speak with me agin. Wouldn’t even say goodbye or look at me when I left. My mom is also in a much better living situation. Her memory is usually not bad, but I think she has blocked out how bad her house was when she left. This is so hard.

SusanB-dil

It is good that you know mom is being taken care of.

Sorry the usual isn't working… 'the house is being worked on'. 'the doctor says you will be here a while longer.'

Yes, H1235, 'this' is hard! and I HATE it!