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The Long Goodbye is Over

My dear husband passed away early Monday morning. He was at home and with me and our two children.

He was diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago and had been slowly progressing over time. He was always cheerful and I am so thankful for that and for all of the support that we had.

About three weeks ago, he was becoming so weak that we had to help him get out of bed and up from chairs. A friend suggested hospice and I'm so glad they did. Hospice was wonderful. They came twice a week to check on us and provide support and tips. They provided a recliner that stood him up and a chair on wheels, plus supplies like depends and pads; and medication. They were available 24/7 which was such a relief to me, knowing they could come anytime that Mike fell and I needed help getting him up. It was all paid for by Medicare.

Last Friday, when the nurse was visiting we talked about how hard it was to get him out of bed. She suggested a hospital bed that would rise and lower and that could be put in a different part of the house that was better access.

They brought the bed the next day. We got Mike into it and he never left. He was unconscious but I believe he knew that we were there with him, along with the steady stream of loved ones that came to see him.

Three days later, he took his last breath. As difficult as this is, I couldn't have asked for a better outcome, with him being home with me and the kids. And, he is at peace.

Prayers to all of you dealing with this horrible disease.

Comments

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 161
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    My deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. I'm sure it is very difficult but such a peaceful transition and in the company of the people he loved is such a blessing. Prayers and hugs to you as you adjust to this new stage.

  • jsps139_
    jsps139_ Member Posts: 201
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    Thank you for taking such good care of him at home. I’m sure you are relieved that his passing was peaceful and at home with family. This disease is horrible, but we all support each other to get through it. My prayers are with you and your family. Take care of yourself!!!

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 214
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    So sorry for your loss! RIP

  • AlzWife2023
    AlzWife2023 Member Posts: 299
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    @ Lhuerta bless you and your family and your dear husband in heaven! It is clear that you provided great love & care and that his passage was peaceful for you all. Thank you for telling us. I wish this for all of us and our loved ones!

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,516
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    I am sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and strength as you move into stage 8.
    HB

  • DWTired
    DWTired Member Posts: 46
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    So Sorry for you and your Family's loss. Prayers for strength in the coming days. 🙏🙏🙏

  • Jo C.
    Jo C. Member Posts: 2,941
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    Dear Lhuerta, I send warm thoughts to you and your family on the heartfelt loss of your beloved. You stayed the course and did the best that could be under such circumstances and were a very real blessing. It is good to hear how helpful Hospice was and of course they can continue to be in support after the death of one's Loved One.

    May peace and solace find you and your family soon. Let us know how you are doing; we will be thinking of you and we care.

    J.

    J.

  • Buggytoo
    Buggytoo Member Posts: 94
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    Sending prayers of comfort. May your wonderful memories fill the days to come.

  • Bailey's Mom
    Bailey's Mom Member Posts: 62
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    Thank you for sharing. I hope I can keep DH at home until the end…he is not especially cheerful (never has been, actually) but I'm going to do my best to keep him out of a facility unless absolutely necessary. My thoughts are with you…

  • Bill_2001
    Bill_2001 Member Posts: 131
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    I am so sorry for your loss. We are here for you as you move into a new chapter of life. Your dear husband was blessed to have you in his life. Peace to you.

  • ​fesk
    ​fesk Member Posts: 479
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    I am very sorry for your loss.

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 435
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    ❤️

  • clarinetist
    clarinetist Member Posts: 165
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    So sorry to hear this; I’m glad his passing was peaceful. My deepest condolences.

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 890
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    I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. May you find peace in the coming days.

  • Kat63
    Kat63 Member Posts: 71
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    So sorry for your loss. Such a blessing you and your children were able to be by his side. May your wonderful memories comfort you in the days ahead.

  • Joe C.
    Joe C. Member Posts: 969
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    My sincere condolences on the loss of your husband. May you find some peace in the days ahead.

  • fmb
    fmb Member Posts: 425
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    I am so sorry for your loss. May you find peace and comfort in the coming days.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 332
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    I am sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,004
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    so sorry for your loss. Praying for your strength in the coming days. Your husband was lucky to have you. May he rest in peace now that his suffering is over.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 494
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    Peace to you and your family.

  • CatladyNW
    CatladyNW Member Posts: 42
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    Condolences on your loss. Wishing you comfort and peace

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 847
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    Peace be with you and yours.

  • LJCHR
    LJCHR Member Posts: 197
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    So sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you could have him with you until the end. That is my prayer for my DH. May you find peace and strength during this time.

  • hiya
    hiya Member Posts: 68
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    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 84
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    edited November 16

    I am so sorry for your loss! I send condolences to you and your children. It sounds like a blessing for you all that he was able to remain home until the end. Wishing you some peace!

  • CampCarol
    CampCarol Member Posts: 89
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    My sincere condolences on your loss. It’s clear you were a wonderful caregiver to him, and I’m thankful that his passing was peaceful. Sending thoughts and prayers your way during this most difficult time.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 718
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    Condolences to you and your family! But to go quickly and peacefully is truly a blessing. May you find comfort in knowing that he's in a good place and that you can start living again.

  • brs
    brs Member Posts: 46
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    My sympathy to you and your family. Bless your heart.❤

  • ImMaggieMae
    ImMaggieMae Member Posts: 1,033
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    I am so sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful caregiver and he was able to pass in his own home with all of you there. Wishing your and your family comfort and peace.

  • DrNani
    DrNani Member Posts: 18
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    Thank you for sharing your story. We entered medical hospice about a month ago. They seemed quite concerned. With my overall health than. My DW. I think my weight loss, and the strain on us is palpable, my DW, has a steady decline, it seems at times she doesn’t realize she is at the end of her life, but within our faith, this is not then end, we are completing this transition and heading to the next Journey. I find great comfort in the. Basis of her life and its mission, as it has been fulfilled in a most remarkable way. ESPECIALLY as I am writing your condolences, I have become more aware of how much gratitude I can seek and feel comfort in the. Longest goodbye. Obviously no one knows here in Tunis life, exactly where they are during this dreadful disease, most of us knwo, they are not themselves anymore, maybe for a split second, there has to be a lesson in this tormenting disease? If we can turn poision into medicine, Dementia is a mind /brian altering long good kind of poison for those of us left to suffer? Now, how do I find away to begin to heal & create a “medicine” from this grief?

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more