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Language issues

My spouse has had problems with language for several months. I mention it when people ask about him, but I struggle to explain it. So, yesterday, I started a list. He was staring out the kitchen window (at the sunset). When I asked, "What's up?" he said, " I'm looking at the thing that's going to go away soon." What do your LOs say?

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  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,203
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    This is not unusual. MIL was laughing at 'that' the other day… At what? "the bouncy". She meant the cat, as she pointed to it. Very often, a PWD cannot think of the word, so it is more descriptive. "The whatsit next to the box" - could actually mean the 'remote control next to the tv'.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,578
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    @JDancer

    Many folks refer to this as difficulty with word finding. My mom, who is not diagnosed— yet— is increasingly having glitches with word finding. In her case, it is almost always a noun. Conversations with her are challenging at times because she also has ADHD which causes her to segue into new topics mid-stream when something pops into her head. She's always done that, but now the convos are peppered with "thing" and pronouns rather than names. Sometimes I have to ask her point blank "Who are we talking about now?" She also does that think your husband did describing something when they blank of a word. My niece called me last month alarmed after a visit to tell me mom had asked her to get "kitchen papers" out of the pantry. She had no idea. I guessed paper towels— correctly, I might add. I've been playing this weird game of "Mad Libs" with mom longer than she has.

    Dad had a lot of odd speech quirks. He was prone to malapropism prior to dementia. He once sent me to the store with a request to buy "Black & Decker Marmalade" when he meant "Crosse & Blackwell". He also invented words when something was on the tip of his tongue. One I found particularly amusing was "shin-backs" in place of calves. We still use that one some 40 years on. He also spoke in scripts in the middle stages. Not only did he retell the same, often cringey, story, he told it word-for-word.

    In the middle stages of dementia, dad also had issues with word finding. His substitutions were generally a code-switch to a more formal or elevated term. I recall once arriving at rehab for a care meeting for dad not long after his tentative diagnosis. Upon entering the building, I could hear him roaring at the social worker "By whose authority am I incarcerated in this place?"

    Dad's use of language was unusual for dementia. He remained conversational until the end. Hours before he died, he was being assessed by an SLP for swallowing issues as he'd lost a considerable amount of weight. I'd brough him Chik-Fil-A for lunch which she used to challenge is swallowing. While he ate, he flirted with her and told me all about a visit with my sister earlier. She wrapped up and we went into the hall to talk. The SLP was shocked at how poor his ability to swallow was in contrast to his speech in telling me about my sister's visit. Imagine her surprise when I told her my sister had died in 1994.

    HB

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 870
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    My sister repeatedly brought up "the little white thing that the parents had". I could not for the life of me figure out what that could be. Turns out it was the toilet paper roller.

  • Carl46
    Carl46 Member Posts: 261
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    I think professionals call it "expressive aphasia." My mother was frustrated in her last year or so because she knew what she wanted to say but couldn't find the words.

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 797
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    My dh lost nouns early. Losing nouns was by far the first symptom, existing for years before the thought of dementia entered the picture. For a long time he could substitute other descriptions for the nouns that were gone, but now his speech, while pleasant and friendly, has no content.

  • HollyBerry
    HollyBerry Member Posts: 186
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    My partner is starting to struggle with this. Sometimes she'll substitute a word and not even be aware she's doing it, other times she'll pause and think really hard and come up with a word that is not the one she wanted. And in the next moment, we're playing this license plate game* we've played for years and she still understands some pretty sophisticated words, even if she can't define them or come up with them on her own.

    *license plate has 3 letters and we find words for each — RPH = retirees putter happily. The sillier the better.

    I love the description of the speech that has no content. That's a great way to put it!

  • Carl46
    Carl46 Member Posts: 261
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    Thank you for the license plate game! I'm going to play that with my wife.

    I used to have a supervisor whose plate included the letters JFN. We all knew it stood for "Just Effing Nuts" 😉

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more