How to help my mom: she forgets that she went to the bathroom (#2) only a few hours after going

TomBrooklyn · November 20

Hi everyone! My mom is almost 83, and in great health, but her memory is not the same over the past year. Over the past few weeks, my mom keeps on thinking that she is constipated, and that she hasn't passed a bowel movement in two days. I explain to her that she did so earlier, and it still doesn't register. She continues to ask for Miralax around 12:30 pm, and then throughout the day. I do not know what to do, I even resorted to taking pictures, of her bowel movements, but she still doesnt believe me. She continues to say that she feels stuffed. I do not know what to do to help her. Any suggestions will be much appreciated!!!!!

ronda b · November 20

Fake giving her the mirilax. It will mix in almost anything. It doesn't have a taste if you put it with some kind of juice,so tell her it's in there. Small fib for maybe a little peace

harshedbuzz · November 20

@TomBrooklyn

I am sorry you are dealing with this.

It feels like this situation could be coming from one of two places. The first might be the very common tendency of those with short-term memory loss to forget whether they have taken medication they consider critical to their wellbeing and perseverate over that. It's tempting to try to assure them all is well by offering proof of some kind— an empty pill packet, box checked or, in your care, photographic evidence— but that seldom butters the biscuit as the disease progresses. It's generally advised not to try to reason with a person who has a broken reasoner. At best, she'll forget your assurance and return to the topic quickly. At worst, she'll feel gaslit and could become agitated and suspicious of you.

The second scenario could be more nuanced. If she's actually telling you she's constipated and describing symptoms, "feeling stuffed", it might be worth a visit to her PCP. She could have some sort of blockage or prolapse causing the symptoms that needs ruling out. Or not.

FWIW, my dad reported sore ribs on and off for almost a year. He attributed this to a "fall", he actually believed mom pushed him off a curb. He'd mentioned this to his PCP and pulmo at appointments for other things and they looked for issues without finding anything. It wasn't until I saw the report from a chest film that we figured it out. A remnant of dad's gall bladder (removed in 1979) were inflamed and he had a few stones in his ducts. We were able to improve the pain by changing his diet as he was a poor candidate for surgery.

YMMV.
HB