How to handle awareness of diagnosis in parent

sandyeigo

Hi, very new here and have lots of questions! I have recently taken on caregiving my MIL who was diagnosed with FTD about 4/5 years ago. My question is related to something that came up today. She was definitely involved and part of appointments regarding her diagnosis in the beginning, multiple medications tried to help deal with anxiety, discussion of possible treatments etc. All that seemed to fall off is the subsequent years. She has not had any follow up with a neurologist in about a year as far as I know. Disagreements about how to handle her living situation resulted in my DH taking a bit of a step back and SIL had been managing most things while MIL remained living alone. We have finally reached a point where all parties agree she needs more day to day care and my DH and I are preparing to move her into our home. My question involves something that happened when taking her to a doctor appointment unrelated to her condition. While at the appointment the fact that she has FTD came up and she seemed genuinely unaware. Certainly it is not something that I would imagine you would bring up regularly, but I think my DH have tried to tread as gently as we can with her memory gaps. Trying to normalize it. Saying things like “oh I never remember people’s names” or “I can’t remember what I ate yesterday sometimes “ all of which is of course true, but not the same thing. I don’t want to cause distress, but how cognizant should she be about her diagnosis? How can we lovingly have these conversations going forward?

SusanB-dil

You are doing great with what you are already telling her! and gently. You don't bring up the diagnosis if she doesn't.

Most of our LO have anosognosia. This is not denial, but rather, the firm belief that nothing is wrong. They are unable to see their deficits. If it is brought up, it will most likely agitate or cause distress.

My mom is aware. This is unusual, but she was a nurse and her mother had it. She is probably more aware of the situation over-all than most. MIL is not aware, has anosognosia, so we just deal best we can.

There is a thread about suggested books. I know two that helped me were Wendy Mitchell's "Somebody I Used to Know", and one that is good for reference is "The 36-hour Day".