Aggressive Parent Need Advice

stormtrooper

Hi, I've never commented on here before but I need advice and have no one to turn to. My father has dementia possibly from Alzheimers, which has been going on for about 6 years now. He started showing signs of aggression the past month, but he just tried to break my mom's wrist and is threatening us. I stepped in and he hit me as well. Thankfully my brothers were able to step in and get him away. I don't know what to do because if he tries to touch my mom again, I will defend her. I'm scared to go to sleep at night and I have been having panic attacks. I could really use some advice.

housefinch

I would call 911 and get him transported to a local ER. Explain it’s no longer safe to care for him at home. I would not accept him being hospitalized on a regular medical floor, with psychiatry just giving advice to the hospital doctors. That is likely not enough to get him the expertise he needs. From the ER, after he is medically cleared, he probably needs to be transferred to a geriatric psychiatric inpatient unit for stabilization before it’s safe to have him come home or to a facility like memory care. That treatment could take several weeks. If you don’t have a durable POA for healthcare and legal/financial decision making for him, you may need to file for emergency guardianship. Otherwise I don’t think the hospital will communicate with you about his condition or discharge plans, after he is admitted. I don’t know how urban/rural an area you live in. Geriatric psychiatry units aren’t necessarily nearby.

harshedbuzz

Stormtrooper—

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

Ditto what housefinch said. This can go sideways fast. Last year in a town not far from me, a man with dementia became angry with his wife for some reason and strangled her. It was a terrible tragedy. Not only did this poor woman die, but this man was also left without support or an advocate in the aftermath. He was taken to jail and it was months before his brother was able to get him declared incompetent and the judge ordered him placed in a facility.

HB

H1235

In my state you can go to the court house and file a petition for evaluation. He will have to be considered a harm to himself or others (sounds like he is). Police will come an pick him up and bring him to the hospital for an evaluation. Hopefully from there they would send him to a geriatric psychiatric hospital for further evaluation and treatment. I know this sounds harsh, but I think something needs to happen fast. If you don’t go this route then at least call the police if there is another incident. Housefinch is correct, without the DPOA or guardianship the hospital will probably not tell you anything (unless he is ok with it, which he probably won’t be). There is medication that can help, but it takes time to figure out. I hope you can figure something out.