While I wait

forbarbara

I’m working on trading in my anger at all those people who made this journey harder. I don’t want to hang on to the bitterness.

SusanB-dil

Uggh... I hear that. ((Hugs))

I just try to move on and then stay away from 'those' however I can! Some are easier than others.

Agree, it isn't good to hang on to any negativity. I guess it is inevitable to have to deal with it, though.

Quilting brings calm

It’s hard to do so. I have acknowledged why my siblings and step-siblings didn't/don’t help( a reap what you sow situation). However that doesn’t mean I still don’t resent doing all of it myself for 5 years. What I did had to be done by somebody. In addition, there were times they made it harder by their actions ( not just their in-action).

Then there is the medical field. Many of which simply don’t understand dementia. You think surely these people can tell me how to get xyz done, but they just give you a diagnosis and set up the next appointment. The business and financial field which don’t have policies to aid families of the demented handle and close accounts. The social services field, which people tell you should help you, but don’t. Everyone just watches you reinvent the wheel

fmb

This final portion of the journey is hard enough without being burdened by more difficulties. May you find peace and comfort in releasing the negativity. Take good care of yourself. Do not feel guilty for feeling angry. Anger, too, is a part of grief. ((hug))

GothicGremlin

@forbarbara I hear you on this. I was really angry with my brother for a long time, but I can honestly say that now that it's been eight months since Peggy passed away, I've moved on from my anger. My feelings are kind of neutral towards him. I've forgiven him, but I have not forgotten, nor will I ever.

I agree with @fmb in that releasing the negativity will probably bring a kind of peace. I know that's how it's been for me. I wish the same for you.

Carl46

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/71315/while-i-wait

I'm working on that too. I'm not good at forgiveness, but I'm trying for my sake, not for theirs.

harshedbuzz

@forbarbara

I sincerely hope you are successful in this as it would compound the unfairness of it all for them to live rent-free in your head going forward. IME, some of these people will be the most dramatic of mourners when the time comes.

HB

H1235

I have tried to have no expectations of help from my brother, then when I end up doing everything myself I’m not as disappointed. But it’s hard to let the anger and resentment go. His ideas are so out of touch with the reality of her situation that it’s just so stressful and frustrating. As much as I hate it and have tried to avoid it, I have started taking a mild anxiety medication to help me cope. I hope all of us with the added struggle of a difficult family member can find the strength to let go of the anger go and find peace.