Behavioral issues

AprilBerg

Hi, I am new here and really need some advise. I am taking care of my 83 year old father with middle stage Alzheimer's. I actually live with him. He obsesses over everything, anxious, won't leave my side (hates being alone), paces, etc. He also thinks most of the time that I am his dead wife instead of his daughter. He is on meds for night time and we are waiting to get meds for the day. I am hoping that will help with all of the pacing and obsessive behavior.

My question is, how do I handle this kind of behavior especially thinking I'm his dead wife?

I'm very direct with him...remind him I'm his daughter, I call him Dad all of the time but it just doesn't seem to get through to him. I do have my brother that helps and a part time care giver on the weekends so I can have time to get away but the days I'm with him 24/7 does take it's toll on me mentally and emotionally and I just don't know how to deal with this behavior.

Thanks

gglorious7

As a former long-term caregiver of my mother who is now deceased from Alzheimer's. I know exactly what your going thru . My advice is give him activities to do so that you can catch a break . My mom used to be the same always wanting me right by her and she used to think my sister wasn't her daughter and my sister would tell her " well who's my mom if your not my mom and my mom would think about it and say she didn't know . It's best just to go with it . It takes a lot of patients to care for an Alzheimer's parent . I did it for 12 years . It's a thankless job . But when my mother passed away in the comfort of her own home that is the highest honor we can give our parents . It's bittersweet. I hope all the best for you in your journey. Stay strong you got this .

--Rebecca--

I'm sorry you are going through this. Can you find a day care program, and put him in day care for a couple days of the week? Just go with being his wife. It's easier. That's what I do. It feels strange, but I stopped being the role of daughter, anyways. I'm now a mom, attorney, nurse.

Create a bundle of of hand towels or dish cloths for him. Throw them back into the dryer for a few minutes, for a nice, warm sensory experience. Have him fold them for you, so he has something to do. Repeat this once or twice a day. Give him a dust mop, if he is mobile enough to push a swiffer. Thank him for being such a big help.