We need some suggestions to prevent boredom

WendyIO

Hello, I am new to the group. My mom came to live with my husband and I about three months ago. She has never really had any hobbies, so she currently has nothing to help her pass the time. When she gets bored, she gets nervous and starts pacing. We have tried word find puzzels, puzzels, coloring etc but nothing really holds her attention. She does help with laundry and dusting. Any suggestions would be very helpful.

cdgbdr

My DH likes to go through photographs and things he has collected over time. He also enjoys watching the birds outside.

JM27

Hi,

I would try sensory things. You can buy a pack online they are children but might help. They have different textures.

My father k moved in with us recently and is bored as well. He also didn’t have hobbies and it’s hard to get him to enter act with games and even to go to the store to get him to walk around he is now wanting to wait in the car most of the time.

I myself was going to try the sensory as it has different textures and I notice when I do get him in the store he touches things.

Let me know if you try them.

sandwichone123

They often like sorting things. If she likes dusting that can be done every day. They often like folding laundry, and if you get a pile of things she likes to fold they can also be folded every day.

Emily 123

Hello Wendy,

I always try to think about how the losses caused by the disease are affecting how my mom sees things. Sometimes that helps me figure out a work-around.

Even though memory loss is often the earliest and most apparent sign of dementia, the disease will also affect how a person can process information, and cause a loss of executive function. Holding on to more than a single thought at a time becomes difficult, and it means that multi-step tasks or making choices becomes hard, and they may not be able to sequence the steps of a task correctly and not know how to start or be able to stay on task. It's hard to get used to at first, because loved ones may look and talk the same, but behind that they're struggling to keep up with the gaps in their memory.

That inability to hold on to new information also means that she may be losing the ability to sense the passing of time, since she can’t ‘pin’ down a memory. If that’s so, she won't recall doing activities during the day. What she can't recall=didn't happen=feels bored. Unfortunately, if that's part of it, you won't be able to fix that.

The anxiety:

Usually, by the time we move family in, the disease has progressed enough to where they haven’t been able to retain new information for months. She may not recall the move or what’s happened to her home, and trying to might make her anxious. (My mom spent 9 months with me thinking she had come for a weekend visit.)

Her old home environment would supply a daily routine and she'd know where things are. A move to a new place will throw PWD's for a loop because they can't make new memories to help them acclimate and succeed. You can support her by giving her a consistent daily routine, and subtly try to build in prompts.

Finding similar tasks to what she can still do will help. If her memory isn’t great you may be able to remove the thing she’s completed, like a stack of folded laundry, and re-present it to her a bit later for her to refold.

Music from her earlier years may help settle her a lot. See if you can set her up with something like Pandora or Spotify.

That said, it may be a challenge to keep her occupied. Know that she may not want (or be able) to be as active as she once was, that it's okay to let her just sit, and that it may take some medication adjustment to help smooth out the anxiety and pacing. Talk to her physician about what might help. My mom's done well on Lexapro, I know seroquel is used with success as well.

This stage is really hard—I think this video explains it well:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coiZbpyvTNg

Jo C.

You have had some very good input. How kind and loving of you to try and work this out for your Mother. There are of course, light chores she may want to help with, there are puzzles and other such items made just for persons with dementia that can be found online, there are also daycare places one can use for a few hours a day on whatever weekdays are best for you; etc. Costume jewelry boxes and button boxes can also keep a LO's attention for a bit of time.

I found myself going in thinking circles trying to find activities for my dear mother; it turned out the activity was based on MY thinking and not my mothers. She enjoyed intermittent items to do or participate in, but also seemed happy when she was doing nothing. At one time, we also had couple of half days a week she went to a very good daycare specially formatted for seniors with dementia. She seemed to enjoy that, but tired easily, so we did not overdo that.

I had to learn that it was okay for her to be non-active; sometimes just sitting quietly for awhile. I had to learn to value dynamics at her level and not mine; not easy at first.

J.

--Rebecca--

Does she know any handiwork? Can she knit, crochet, embroider, plastic canvas or paper craft bookmarks for you two to then tuck into books at a free "little library" somewhere?

Have her make a popcorn or paper chain garland for the Christmas tree. Then enjoy her handiwork.

Jazzies7

Can she read? My mom spends a lot of time reading. I also use an app with her called Constant Therapy. It is designed for people with cognitive challenges and is personalized to the user and adapts to their responses (i.e. gets easier or harder as needed). constanttherapy.com My mom needs assistance to do it, but she really enjoys it and gets excited every time she gets the happy face saying she completed the activity correctly. If she likes music and singing, try karaoke. My mom loves that! Card games, like UNO. Look for activities designed for patients with dementia. Often you can get the same thing cheaper if you look for games and materials for preschoolers. Good luck!

Victoriaredux

We'd be bored, the nothingness can be soothing for them . I don't ever want to know what it feels like inside to have my brain breaking down so go with what you see calms her . You don't have to be Julie on the Loveboat.

CaliforniaGirl-1

Depending on how far along she is, she may not have much attention span. It changes over time. The MC where my LO is has a variety of jigsaw puzzles and coloring books and they have some children's puzzles where you put a colored shape on a colored shape in a picture. They also have a basket of colorful baby socks and the PWD can match the socks to make a pair. They also have a basket of hand towels to fold.

They show concerts and dancing on video and have people come and play music and have sing a-longs. My LO really enjoys these. She loves videos of people dancing on YouTube.

Be aware that any of those puzzles will call for participation by the caregiver. My LO also like looking at magazines and reading the headlines.

As someone said, make sure you are not trying to fill your LO's time because you think they would be bored. They may be perfectly happy watching the world around them.