Christmas Cards

fmb

In a year filled with bad news, I am sitting here with a box of Christmas cards wondering what to write. I want to send cards; this is the only contact I have with many of the friends and relatives on my list. Caregiving is isolating enough without letting my last few contacts in the outside world slip through my fingers. However, with DH now in late Stage 7 and declining quickly, my mother entering MC and now in Stage 6, and my former husband's death, this has not been a year to remember and share. I am thinking of writing a very short note leaving out the bad news and just mentioning my return to volunteering and beginning to downsize in order to move and add that DH is doing as well as can be expected. I don't want to drag people down, but also don't want to just sign our names, either. I welcome your insight and suggestions.

loveskitties

How about something like…While this has been a very challenging year, I am glad to be able to send each of you our best wishes for the holiday season and the new year. I cherish the memories of all the good times and love thru the years.

clarinetist

I’m in the same boat, fmb. I want to send cards, but all my news is gloomy. I may find a pic of my DH from early in the year, and just say something along the lines of what loveskitties suggested, without too much detail.

jfkoc

I would just send the second sentence while wishing a merry Christmas.

SusanB-dil

I like it either way - depending on who the card is going to.

To those who know the situation better and I'm closer to, maybe what loveskitties has, and those I am not quite as close to, just the second part.

SDianeL

I’ve been thanking people for their thoughts and prayers this year and wishing them and their families Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

GothicGremlin

I'm in the same boat. My cards have to go out over the weekend, and here I sit, looking at them.

What I've decided to do is briefly mention how I'm doing, and how we're all doing since Peggy's death, and then focus on hopes for the next year. I don't send out hundreds of Christmas cards - maybe 20 or so? And those folks already know how horrible the last several years have been, so I don't need to go in depth on any of this.

clarinetist

This thread has gotten me off my behind about Xmas cards. Last night I found a nice picture of my DH and me, went onto a drugstore website, and made a photo card. The back has a short note paraphrasing what loveskitties suggested. I will pick up the cards today, stick them in envelopes, address them and mail them. Done!

AlzWife2023

I decided to wish everyone a joyous Christmas and not bother saying anything about myself or family! I sent my cards out early and the positivity has been palpable. Find the joy! Wishing you peace & love!

RitaB

Feel your feelings and be gentle with yourself. It sounds like you are feeling isolated yet you realize the importance of staying connected with family and friends. Sending a card tells them "I'm thinking of you today". Write from the heart and customize your message based on those relationships. Sometimes, just a signature will suffice. Best Wishes!

fmb

Thank you to everyone who commented. It's a nice, bright sunny day, so I put on my favorite Christmas music (Handel's "Messiah" and Vivaldi's "Gloria") and wrote 18 Christmas cards. For all but three, I expressed simple wishes for the holiday season and coming new year, personalized whether they celebrate a religious Christmas or a more secular holiday. The other three cards require longer letters. Should anyone write back and ask how we are doing, I will respond based on the relationship. It was a little bittersweet realizing that this is the last year I will sign both of our names, but I am so grateful to be able to do so. Just a few weeks ago I truly did not think that DH would live to see this Christmas. Christmas Blessings to all!

sandwichone123

When my dh was early on, before diagnosis, I sent out a "news of the family" generic newsletter about the kids and jobs, then followed up with an email to close family with "all the news that's not fit to print" telling them about his illness.

SusanB-dil

I didn't get as many out this year, but it is a way to keep in touch.

Signed with "Have a Merry Christmas and a happy and blessed 2025"

Those who know the situation already know. Those to just keep in touch with, it is a way to just say 'hello'.

Cosmic

This was a bad year for me when my wife of 60 passed from Alz. All our friends knew our situation and most also attended her funeral. Wife had boxes of Christmas cards but the past few years were….you know.

I sent cards to all who knew and loved her. A short hand written note in each card assuring everything is ok.

It's difficult for others to send a card to you not knowing what to say. Only our closest friends sent cards to me knowing the holidays are the worst times of the year.

eaglemom

This is a good question. You don't want to drag someone down but you don't want to omit the truth either. It can be a fine line. Each year we seem to receive fewer and fewer cards. Personally the cards that I send out are to people who know our situation. Now they have no idea of the day to day and I don't think sharing in a card is the way to go with that. I keep it upbeat and positive and wish them a wonderful new year.

This falls into the category of share what you feel comfortable sharing. Maybe by sharing someone will reach out? That would be a wonderful positive thing to happen.

eagle