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Sundowners

Could this be sundowning? My DH was married to his first wife for 23 years. We have been married 32 years. This last week, in the evening only, he keeps telling me that he knows he divorced his first wife, but then asks me - did I ever remarry or do I have girlfriends? I’m wondering if this is part of sundowning because it always happens in the evening, or if it’s just progression of the disease??? I thought sundowning had to do with agitation and anxiety, but the timing of his comments everyday has me wondering.

Comments

  • Bill_2001
    Bill_2001 Member Posts: 134
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    Member

    The evening hours, combined with the darker and shorter days of December, really can intensify dementia symptoms.

    Be sure your home is well-lit during the day. However, I have learned to expect and accept my dear wife's behavior changes during this time of year. It still comes as a bit of a shock starting in late November.

    Sundowning manifests as a noticeable worsening of symptoms. This, along with the progression of the disease itself, results in unpredictable behavior.

    Remember that your loved one's brain is no longer functioning correctly, and anything they say or do is most likely impacted.

    Love Bill_2001

  • jsps139_
    jsps139_ Member Posts: 228
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    Member

    Thanks Bill. I wasn’t thinking about the time change, and I do not keep the place well-lit. I’ll give that a try and see if that helps the confusion.

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 909
    Seventh Anniversary 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Likes
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    My DH is in MC now but last winter he would become more anxious and confused at around 4:00 each afternoon. He would almost start asking about his parents and if they were still alive. He would also start messing up the television by pressing all the buttons on the remote. It was frustrating but he couldn't help it.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 164
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    Relating to this my DH messes up the TV, his computer, his iPhone, puts an empty kettle on to boil and asks if I have a brother (we’ve been married for 54 years, he knew my brother well) asks if I knew his mother, where is my mother, do I have a sister, I gently find the answer or something kind to say or gently change the subject. His poor scrambled brain makes me fonder of him and I want to protect and comfort him as much as possible. For my DH these questions can happen at any time of the day.

  • Kat63
    Kat63 Member Posts: 80
    Fourth Anniversary 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments
    Member

    My DH made similar comments to me when he was in late stage 5. He one time told me that I was a really good person and he cared about me, but he didn’t think we needed to get married (we have been married 40 years). I just said, I agree. We are fine just the way things are. Made me laugh. I believe it’s just progression of the disease.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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