My brother

shelltorno

I'm new here. My brother has early onset dementia. He lives a few states away from me. He is married to a wonderful person. He is very angry at her. He claims there is too much clutter in the house and wants it all removed by a certain date or he is leaving and moving up by me. I love my brother and we are very close. I am his safe place but I have a full house and my health isn't the best. We have been trying to figure out how to handle this. He stopped his medicine, barely eating and not sleeping. Won't let his wife go his dr appointments. Giving her the silent treatment. His wife is trying to keep it together. She doesn't have family there. Im the closest to her. She did put a call in the dr but so far no callback. Any ideas? Thank you for listening

Victoriaredux

I'm sorry your family is going through this. Your SIL should see an elder law attorney , even if he is under 65 ,to discuss what documents they need to manage things going forward - wills, a trust?, AHCD, DPOA etc and how to broach the subject with her husband. Her life got completely changed with his Dx.

Also, what would be needed to get a guardianship at some point if he won't agree to plan with her , and indeed how she would fare if they divorced. It's not uncommon for a PWD to take things out on the person closest to them.

She needs to take action soon because he may destroy their finances very quickly - buying a new home , car etc. in one of his changing things up moods.