Mom's ALZ has dropped a level

KarenHutchinson

Hi All,

Over the past few weeks we are seeing a drop in her abilities. Mom lives in Assisted Living which is great. We have watched her cognitive ability drop from time to time and most recently about a month ago she started having hallucinations (thinks she is being held somewhere then realizes she is in her bathroom). She gets anxious about everything that requires us to coordinate, for example getting her to her hair appointment. She has a calendar we have her write it down along with the time and who is going to take her. She will call me two days before and ask where I'm at because she thinks it's the day to get her hair done. We repeat and repeat every night on the phone what day it is and what is coming up. Today again she called wondering where I am and when I'm going to pick her up but the event isn't until tomorrow. She thinks us kids (she has 5) are plotting and playing games with her to mess her up with dates/times. She thinks she use to have a boyfriend and keeps asking me where he is buried and can I take her there. Overall she seems to have more anxiety and I'm wondering if she should be on medication to calm her or if we should stop trying to bring her to events outside of the AL. Anyone been through this stage and decide to put your loved one on medicine to calm them down? Thanks and many blessings! Karen

Quilting brings calm

I would suggest both medication and limiting her outside activities. Does the AL have a hairdresser than comes to the facility on certain days?

It’s common for people with dementia to be anxious and depressed. It can take some time to determine the right anxiety medication, and the right dosage.

H1235

Welcome. I think it might be a good idea to ask the doctor about medication for her anxiety and hallucinations. As far as taking her out, I would not put anything on the calendar or tell her about any event in advance. Eventually the ability to use the calendar is gone. When time comes to take her to the doctor get there plenty early to make sure she is ready. If she complains that no one told her about the outing, just kindly apologize and tell her it most have slipped your mind. This worked well with my mil and while I still tell my mom about events she forgets then gets grumpy that I didn’t tell her, I just apologize and tell her I must have forgotten to mention it. I think it’s better than her being worked up for a week wondering when the event will be. In both cases it worked well. If you are taking her places that have a lot of commotion, or a lot of people/family all talking it may be too much for her. I would consider how she does in the particular situation you bring her out to.

Emily 123

Hi Karen,

It may be that her old routines are becoming beyond her at this point. Her ability to retain a memory for more than a few moments means that she'll lose her sense of time passing and she won't know the date or time. Seeing the appointment on the calendar is causing her to try to make sure she doesn't miss it. Unfortunately, she can't retain any of the information she's told, so she may be getting into a bit of an anxiety loop.

I agree with what others have said. Since managing dates and times are becoming triggers for anxiety, take that off her plate-remove the calendar, and don't remind her of upcoming events. It probably wouldn't hurt to ask her healthcare provider for a low dose med to help with anxiety.

I'm wondering if the hallucinations in the bathroom are perhaps related to an inability to identify who or what's in the mirror? That can sometimes happen. Still, this is a different behavior & you may want her provider to rule out a UTI as well.

Anonymousjpl123

Agree with everyone re: UTI and medication. I wish I had put my mom on meds sooner; maybe it was just right but being on seroqiel was a game changer. She is absolutely not a zombie and it transformed her mood. It sounds like your mom may be in stage 5, which is when things really take a turn. It is a very very hard time. Was the hardest for me. Meds will help, hopefully, but she may also need more assistance and less stimulation: it’s ironic, but I was always trying to get my mom to do stuff and it was exactly the opposite of what she needed. So counterintuitive. Maybe take things slower, and check re the salon in house. I found doing things in AL with my mom was much better than leaving after a while.

KarenHutchinson

Thank you al! Appreciate all of your comments and insight. Have a Blessed Christmas and New Year!

--Rebecca--

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/71518/moms-alz-has-dropped-a-level

--Rebecca--

When my dad faced these issues, I changed the notice to one hour. If he has a hair appointment, or a restaurant outing, we tell him one hour prior to it happening. This has worked out great. He could not even handle two hours notice. At this point. We realized dad needed more supervision, and we moved him to memory care. He had lost the ability to attend meals. Dining room hours are a form of standing appointment. He kept arriving an hour early, or too late, and he was getting frustrated.