Shared Roons

Merla

My preferred memory care only has shared rooms. This memory care chain says that this is intentional and that research indicates that roommates are good for the brain health of someone with dementia. They say they match people up in a thoughtful way.

Does anyone have experience with shared rooms? Do roommates really help out with the well being of people with dementia?

The place I'm looking at is one of the most expensive memory care places so it's not like this roommate design is allowing for a lower cost.

--Rebecca--

I'm suspicious of bunking up being for resident benefits. I think it's possible that it is to maximize profit. Each person is unique. Extroverts will thrive more with a roommate. Introverts will be worn down from lack of privacy. I went through the same exact decision with my dad. He is a lone wolf sort of person. He has extensive bathroom problems, and when he needs to go-he needs to go immediately. Waiting for a roommate to vacate his bathroom was not a situation I would consider for him. If you are paying a nauseating fee for care, they should get a private toilet.

Looking around on the forums here, we see an array of negative behaviors with PWD. What if our LO shares a room with a person who is verbally or physically abusive? Or if they wander in the room all day and night? Change is very hard for the elderly. If they have roommates, they will likely change at some point.

As far as persons being thoughtfully matched, expect it to be, "You can get on the waiting list for a male bed. We are expecting it to be open in two months".

Anonymousjpl123

Very common. My mom’s current MC - the ONLY one I really felt positive about - has private rooms but they are generally reserved for those who need more care (chairs, bed lift, etc.). The shared rooms do have some separation - it’s like 2 very small bedrooms with a shared bathroom in the “hallway.” They only had one space and it seemed so small, but the level of care was so good I grabbed it for mom.

I was sooooo nervous about her sharing a room, but it has turned out to be fine! Her roommate is 94 and more advanced but my mom and everyone else like “helping” her. Ive asked several times if she wants a different room and she says she likes hers.

I strongly believe the level of care and staff vibe matters much more than the room size and configuration. They all hang out outside anyway, it’s true. I would go with the place you feel the best about.

harshedbuzz

@Merla

I have been told the same and after doing a little digging, I found quite a bit of literature in favor of a shared room being best practices. My first choice was a state VA facility which was all semi-private rooms; the place where dad ended up was mostly private with 4 double suites that were rarely used unless they had a married couple or siblings who wanted to share.

I think this might be highly dependent on the personality and presentation of the roommates. My mom shared a room growing up with 3 sisters and then dad; she'd probably do well with the right person sharing.

HB

H1235

I think I would be asking what if they don’t get along? How long would she have to wait before she could be moved? Could you meet the person they intend to have her room with before the move?